Thursday, January 15, 2009

Money for College

St. Augustine said, "Pray like it all depends on God and work like it all depends on you." That is the exact formula for finding and receiving scholarship money. The state of the current economy makes this quote all the more applicable. Local and state government budgets, businesses and foundations all have smaller balance sheets than a year ago. Less available scholarship money and more college students equals less money all around. What can you do to improve your student's chances of winning some scholarship money?

1. Start early. Most university and colleges set a final scholarship deadline of Feb. 1st, however, many set a "priority deadline" that can be as early as November. Applying for admission and scholarships early places your student's application on the top of the pile instead of the bottom.

Although the best chances for garnering a large award is found from the university, money can be found from lots of other sources but again, the search must begin early. Start finding and applying when your student is a FRESHMAN. No-I'm not kidding! Some scholarships exist that must be applied for while they are freshman, sophomores or juniors.

2. Apply at any institution you may attend.
While teenagers are not usually known for their sound judgement and good decision-making abilities, the additional factors of senioritis and impending graduations make them even more flaky. Although students may know they want to attend a certain college, circumstances change. It is better to have applied, received and declined a scholarship than not.

3. Write a quality essay. Most foundation and business scholarships require some type of personal statement. Write a great one and then adapt it for each scholarship. What defining moments have occurred in 12 years of education or 18 years of life and how have they shaped your character? What are your dreams and goals for the future? How will this money assist you in the pursuit of those dreams? What sets you apart from the other 500 people who applied for this scholarship? After it is written, have 2 or 3 people proofread it and give feedback.

4. Check scholarship bulletins and school counseling offices every week during the senior year. Most high school counseling offices publish an online scholarship bulletin each month and more often if necessary. Make it a habit to check it once a week. Check the other local high schools bulletins as well--some are more user-friendly than others. This is really a parent's job. High school students may discount their qualifications or interests and they will need your guidance and direction to encourage them to submit and application for ALL that may apply.

5. Enlist the help of others. Check with extended family members and friends for available scholarships at their places of employment.

6. Apply for financial aid. Apply at http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/ for federal financial aid, such as grants, loans and workstudy programs. The information will be communicated to your choice of higher education option and to assist in the receipt of local and state funds as well. Remember, the earlier you apply, the better.

7. Start saving now! Regardless of how soon your student leaves for college, it is not too late to save. Encourage them to save a portion of their burger joint earnings for college. If they have to pay for some it, they will appreciate it more.

Voila! You have a lot of work to do-you had better get praying too.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Sweet 16--The Arrival of Dating

Sixteen! A glorious age--an age where opportunites and privileges for your teen increase. Unfortunately your worry and sleepless nights increase too. One of those privileges is dating. Whether you and your teen simply survive dating or learn to thrive begins many years before your teen's magical 16th birthday.

A good friend tells the story of the method her parents used to address dating. As part of a Family Home Evening lesson, the family dating rules were established. Not necessarily an uncommon experience, however the oldest child was 12 and just entering adolescence. It was a family council with an opportunity for all to speak and express their thoughts and opinions. The rules were written down, posted and discussed over the next four years as the eldest sibling approached 16. As each sibling arrived at that glorious age of 16, they experienced "The Rules". There were some they didn't like, some they thought were unfair, and some they thought dumb, but each sibling and the parents passed through the adolescent dating years relatively intact.

Although this method may not be for every family, it does illustrate some very effective decisions. First, the parents started talking about dating, relationships and expectations very early. The topic of "Dating" in the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet was their text and guide. This valuable resource outlining the doctrine, do's, don'ts and consequences of the Lord's standards should be utilized in families with children of all ages. It is based on doctrine and assists us in raising our children.

Second, the parents established a way, a time, and a place to discuss issues that involve the entire family. They used family home evening and family councils to address dating standards. They established a family standard based on the Lord's standard. The Lord gives us the standard, but leaves most of the details of how we live the standard up to our interpretation and agency. This family defined what the Lord's standard of dating looks like in their family. Each person had an opportunity to share their thoughts and ask questions. Those family experiences fostered close and open communication.

Third, the children learned by word and example the values of their parents. They knew the expectations and they also knew the consequences. The children knew that heeding the family standard would earn trust and respect and disobedience would earn loss of privileges and trust.

Fourth, another important aspect is consistency. We, as parents, must be consistent with standards. That is not to say there is never any flexibility, but what you do for one, you have to do for all. A favorite line of mine from "Dating" is "Do not date until you are at least 16 years old." It says "at least" not "almost".

Fifth, the family buck stops with you, the parent. Years ago a parent could lay down the law with "Because I said so"; but with today's teens that is an invitation to argue, fight and be downright disagreeable to live with. If you have non-negotiable dating items, explain why. What do you see as risks, consequences, fears, or negative feelings about the issue? Be willing to discuss, ask their opinion and listen! It probably won't change your mind, but it validates your child. Another line to talk about: "Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person." What do you consider "frequent"? What does your child consider "frequent"? Why is the Lord concerned about "frequent dating"? How does Satan use "frequent dating" to lead young men and young women from the truth?

Sixteen and dating is such an exciting time. As you live the standards and help your family to follow them, the Lord will give you direction and assistance so that you can enjoy that time of your teen's life with them.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Everybody Has a Story-Including You!

Years ago on Saturday mornings, a TV news programs aired a segment entitled “Everybody Has a Story”. Someone threw a dart at a map of the United States and wherever the dart landed was the city where they would find "somebody". They would then travel to that city, open the phone book and select a person. This was the person whom they interviewed for the TV segment. This segment was based on the premise that everyone really does have a story. Every story I saw was unique, incredible and sometimes unbelievable. And whether or not you believe it, you also have a story that is also unique, incredible and unbelievable. Everybody has a story-including you!

I believe that the majority of us feel rather ordinary most of the time and only on rare occasions feel special. Sometimes we don’t even like ourselves! Why? As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are taught in The Family: A Proclamation to the World that we are “beloved spirit sons and daughters of heavenly parents, and as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.” If we are truly divine and have a divine destiny, why do we only feel special occasionally? The problem lies in our faith. Do we really believe that we are divine? Faith is the first principle of the gospel. The fourth Article of Faith states, "We believe the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ." It is listed first of all the Young Women Values: “I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father, who loves me, and I will have faith in his eternal plan, which centers in Jesus Christ, my Savior.

I have a favorite talk given by Sister Virginia Pearce at a General Young Women’s Meeting that addresses faith. I have relied upon it for strength, direction and comfort; especially on those days when the hair is so bad there is no way I could be divine! She says, "When we bring the Young Women definition into everyday language, faith means that I really believe that:

· Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live, and they are in charge of this world.

· They know me.

· They love me.

· They have a plan for my future.

· I will obey the commandments, work hard, and trust in their plan. Sooner or later, everything will be okay.”

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live and they are in charge of this world. They know me. They love me. This is self-worth. Self-worth comes from Heavenly Father. There is only one way to feel better about you. You can know these three things and it isn’t by asking your friends, reading worldy magazines, following the latest trend, or watching Oprah. This knowledge only comes by way of personal experience and personal revelation through the Holy Ghost. Only the Holy Ghost, acting as the Testifier, can tell you that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live and they are in charge of this world, and that they know you and love you. "And that ye may know that he is, by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore I would exhort you that ye deny not the power of God; for he worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men..."

How can we receive that witness of the Holy Ghost? Experience and revelation. Seek to have experiences with Heavenly Father and Christ. Attend your meetings, fast and pray on Fast Sunday, pray morning and night, read your scriptures, live worthy of a temple recommend and use it to attend the temple often.

When I was 15 years old, I had a burning desire to know if the Book of Mormon were true. I developed a plan to read daily and did so earnestly. I followed Moroni's exhortation to read and ask and the truth of it was manifest to my young teenage heart. Through that experience, I heard the voice of the Lord and have sought after it ever since. Seek and learn to hear the voice of the Lord.

They have a plan for my future. There have been several times in my life when my plan didn't coincide with Heavenly Father's plan for me. I often think about Joseph of Egypt and that he probably wondered at the purpose of being sold into Egypt by his brothers and spending two years in prison. We know Moses wondered. In Exodus 3:11, Moses said, "Who am I, that I should go unto Pharoah, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?" They do have a plan for each of us and we need to believe them and trust them.

I will obey the commandments, work hard and trust in their plan. Sooner or later, everything will be okay.
The Nephites, including the Army of Helaman, had regained several of their cities which needed to be maintained and they needed more warriors and provisions to regain the city of Manti and continue to fight off the Lamanites. They poured out their souls in prayer and in Alma 58:11 it states, "Yea, and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch that he did speak peace to our souls, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our deliverance in him."

I was single for what seemed like a long time and Heavenly Father didn’t answer my prayers when I wanted or how I wanted, but He gave me assurances that He would deliver me. He spoke peace to my soul. He granted unto me great faith. And gave me cause to hope for deliverance in Him.

Each of us has a story-a divine story. Have faith to live the story as Heavenly Father has planned. Pres. Hinckley said, “Each of us has a small field to cultivate, while so doing, we must never lose sight of the greater picture, the large composition of the divine destiny of this work. It was given us by God our Eternal Father, and each of us has a part to play in the weaving of its magnificent tapestry…Weave beautifully your small thread in the grand tapestry, the pattern for which was laid out for us by the God of heaven. Hold high the standard under which we walk. Be diligent, be true, be virtuous, be faithful, that there may be no flaw in that banner.” (Ensign, Nov. 1989)