In my experience as an administrator, cell phones accounted for more discipline visits than all other discipline categories combined. In one year alone, the recorded number of students needing to see a school administrator for disrupting class with a cell phone quadrupled. Cell phone problems at school range from random ringing during class to text message bullying and threats, pictures of students (unwanted and inappropriate), and pictures of test items.
As parents, how can we keep our children focused on learning and exercising good judgment and etiquette when they use cell phones or other electronic devices? The following questions provide a guide.
Does my child need a cell phone? Why?
Do I want them have one? Why do they want one?
Honestly, children do not “need” a cell phone at school. For years, schools and families existed by land lines and messages left at the office. Perhaps it’s inconvenient but it’s much less disruptive to the learning environment. The United States has one of the shortest school years in the world and students and teachers need every minute of it. Cell phones are an inconsiderate and annoying interruption.
Distinguishing “needs” from “wants” is not an easy exercise but it is a good one to do periodically. We need to check in with ourselves and our families to ensure that our personal and family activities match our short-term and long-term goals. I wonder how the family budget accommodates all of the technology that is often determined a “need”. Can our family/our child afford a cell phone monetarily and educationally?
Have we discussed who, where, when, what, why and how cell phones are to be used by our family?
1. Who uses it? Who pays for it?
2. Where do you use it? –Not in class, not in a review session, not when people are talking to you.
3. When do you use it? Anytime or restricted? While driving? Are there limits on minutes of talk and text?
4. What do you use it for? Calls to parents, text messaging friends?
5. Why? So parents can reach children and vice versa? Friends?
6. How? How do we use it appropriately? What is proper cell phone etiquette?
Family home evening and family councils are good times to discuss these questions. A piece of wise advice from a friend is to:
If the rules are set before the cell phone is purchased, a thoughtful, not emotional, discussion can occur and wise decisions made as a family team. When decisions are made together, children will feel an ownership and responsibility with parents. If the rules are not discussed before the purchase, later discussions typically focus on what the child cannot do-which they did-and degenerate into a battle of control. (This is also a great method to use before the dating years begin. A family discussion of dating and expectations when the oldest child is 12 years old will be quite different than when that child is 15 and ¾ years old!)
If your child has a cell phone, what role does it play in the following?
Is he/she learning responsibility or irresponsibility?
Is your relationship improving or disintegrating?
Is he/she exercising self control in regards to minutes used and the number of text messages?
Cell phones can cause a lot of stress in family relationships. Usually that is precipitated by a child’s irresponsible behavior regarding the use of minutes and number of text messages. It is our obligation to teach our children about budgeting time and money and cell phones involve both. Many families choose to add a “family” phone for use by any family member when needed. Other families allow children to pay for their phone and usage on a family plan and still others let children purchase their own phones and plans. Each decision is personal and has its pros and cons but each will work if the plan is understood by all family members.
Self control and mastery is a lifelong quest that can begin with a cell phone. Fifteen hundred minutes of time equals 25 hours of talk time and that is almost an hour per day per month. Most parents set limits on TV watching, and video game playing. Although many plans may allow unlimited minutes and text messages, is that prudent or wise? In our prosperity and abundance, seemingly limitless amounts have become the norm such as, purchasing on credit, super-sizing the combo meal and surfing the Internet, but all of these come with a price and so will unlimited cell phone use. Perhaps the greatest price will be less family solidarity and a greater influence from friends. Buyer Beware-no child I know needs any more influence from friends.
From working with teenagers I have learned that when I need to contact them, a text message will always get a reply. That was not usually the case when I called them at home or emailed them. I love the ease and convenience of cell phones. They are an asset, not a distraction, when used intelligently and wisely. Let’s help our children and students harness them to their advantage both socially and educationally.
Does any one have a piece of gum?
2. Where do you use it? –Not in class, not in a review session, not when people are talking to you.
3. When do you use it? Anytime or restricted? While driving? Are there limits on minutes of talk and text?
4. What do you use it for? Calls to parents, text messaging friends?
5. Why? So parents can reach children and vice versa? Friends?
6. How? How do we use it appropriately? What is proper cell phone etiquette?
Family home evening and family councils are good times to discuss these questions. A piece of wise advice from a friend is to:
Always set the rules in advance of the anticipated event
If the rules are set before the cell phone is purchased, a thoughtful, not emotional, discussion can occur and wise decisions made as a family team. When decisions are made together, children will feel an ownership and responsibility with parents. If the rules are not discussed before the purchase, later discussions typically focus on what the child cannot do-which they did-and degenerate into a battle of control. (This is also a great method to use before the dating years begin. A family discussion of dating and expectations when the oldest child is 12 years old will be quite different than when that child is 15 and ¾ years old!)
If your child has a cell phone, what role does it play in the following?
Is he/she learning responsibility or irresponsibility?
Is your relationship improving or disintegrating?
Is he/she exercising self control in regards to minutes used and the number of text messages?
Cell phones can cause a lot of stress in family relationships. Usually that is precipitated by a child’s irresponsible behavior regarding the use of minutes and number of text messages. It is our obligation to teach our children about budgeting time and money and cell phones involve both. Many families choose to add a “family” phone for use by any family member when needed. Other families allow children to pay for their phone and usage on a family plan and still others let children purchase their own phones and plans. Each decision is personal and has its pros and cons but each will work if the plan is understood by all family members.
Self control and mastery is a lifelong quest that can begin with a cell phone. Fifteen hundred minutes of time equals 25 hours of talk time and that is almost an hour per day per month. Most parents set limits on TV watching, and video game playing. Although many plans may allow unlimited minutes and text messages, is that prudent or wise? In our prosperity and abundance, seemingly limitless amounts have become the norm such as, purchasing on credit, super-sizing the combo meal and surfing the Internet, but all of these come with a price and so will unlimited cell phone use. Perhaps the greatest price will be less family solidarity and a greater influence from friends. Buyer Beware-no child I know needs any more influence from friends.
From working with teenagers I have learned that when I need to contact them, a text message will always get a reply. That was not usually the case when I called them at home or emailed them. I love the ease and convenience of cell phones. They are an asset, not a distraction, when used intelligently and wisely. Let’s help our children and students harness them to their advantage both socially and educationally.
Does any one have a piece of gum?
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