Cyberbullying

In a recent Sunday Young Women meeting the lesson centered on creating a spiritual atmosphere in the home. Much of the discussion focused on developing a haven, refuge, and safe place. The Young Women president related a story from her youth and commented that she knew if she could just get home, everything would be okay.

Unfortunately, safeguarding our home is not as easy as before the advent of computers and cell phones. These items, although they have many amazing applications, can also bring harmful and destructive forces into our sacred homes, especially when in the hands of our children and their peers.

Bullying has been around forever but cyberbullying is a relatively new phenomenon. What is cyberbullying? "It is bullying others through the use of technology including cellphones, instant messaging , chat rooms, social networking sites (MySpace), websites and online polls. Cyberbullying may include sending mean, vulgar, or threatening messages or images; posting sensitive, private information about another person; pretending to be someone else in order to make that person look bad; and intentionally excluding someone from an online group". (Willard, 2005)

Statistics report that one in four of all young people between the ages of 11 and 19 have been a victim of cyberbullying. Cyberbullying varies from traditional bullying in the following ways: 1.) it may occur any time of the day or night; 2.) messages and images can be distributed quickly to a very wide audience; 3.) youth can be anonymous; 4.) youth say and do more destructive things when not in the presence of the victim. As illustrated with the passing of President Gordon B. Hinckley, most young people found out about his death as a result of a text message. As quickly as it was passed from one person to another, so it is with rumors, lies and mean comments.

How can parents empower their children from becoming victims of cyberbullies? Teach them to:

• Keep personal information private. Never share names, names of friends and family, addresses, phone numbers, school name, pictures or e-mail addresses with people you don't know or don't trust. Unless you want to continually change your cellphone number or Internet service provider and put your identity at risk.
  
• Be polite. Don't say anything in an instant message, text message or chat room that you wouldn't tell someone to their face and that you don't want shared with others, possibly many others (within seconds). Delete and do not forward any correspondence that is mean, rude or inconsiderate.
• Disconnect and unplug. It is not necessary to be connected and wired all day, every day. Children need to spend time developing friendships in the real world, not just the virtual one. Spend time with each other. Kids want to spend time alone with each parent and experience some undivided attention. Invite your children's friends to your home for games, dinners, or kareoke.
  
• Trust the whisperings of the Spirit. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

What other things can parents do to prevent cyberbullying?

• Continue to develop a good relationship with your children. If they feel that they can talk to you openly without judgment, they will.
• Keep home a refuge. This is especially difficult because cyberbullying may occur in your home-cyberspace can be any "place". Keep computers in an open area where supervision is easy. Ask to see your children's cell phones for a safety check-theirs and yours.
  
• Set limits spent in the many venues of cyberspace-cell phones, instant messaging, video games. One friend in Syracuse, Utah limits the number of minutes her children can text or talk on their cellphones even though they pay for their own phones and service. 1500 minutes per month equals 50 minutes per day. That's plenty of time to text and talk!
  
• If your child is a victim of cyberbullying, actions must be taken. 1.) Recipients of bullying messages should never reply. 2.) Don't engage the bully. 3.)Save all messages. 4.) Contact cell phone providers, Internet service providers and the police. 5.) Get help from school officials, especially when bullying affects attendance, attitude and grades. Although cyberbullying may take place off campus, school officials may take action if bullying affects the educational environment for students.

With all of your teaching and educating of your children, remember to also be the student sometimes. Encourage them to to educate you about the cyberworld in which they live. Let them become your partner in the battle to protect hearth and home. Learn together from The Family: A Proclamation and create your safe haven together.

For more information, the following websites have excellent information and advice.

http://www.cyberbullying.org/

http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/

http://www.ncpc.org/topics/by-audience/parents/bullying/cyberbullying