Substance Abuse

My precious child,
Life is meant to test us and try us and some of those tests may be difficult. I have a few things I'd like to tell you to help you avoid some of Satan's most effective tools for deceiving even the best and strongest of us.

Do you remember the story of Samson from the Bible? His father, Manoah, and his mother both saw an angel who announced that she would conceive and have a son. She was commanded to drink neither wine nor strong drink nor eat any unclean thing. Once the child was born, no razor was to touch his head "for the child shall be a Nazarite unto God from the womb: and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines."

You are a covenant child just as Samson was. He was to live a certain way and the Lord would use him for a specific, divine mission. The same is true for you.

What did Samson choose to do? He chose to use the special gift of strength to serve his own purposes. He lacked the self-discipline necessary to resist the temptations of his Philistean wife when she "lay sore upon him" and the temptations of Deliliah when she "pressed him with her words."

You need to live by certain standards that you may be worthy and ready to fulfill your divine purpose and destiny. What will you choose to do?

I am worried that self-discipline may be a great tribulation for you, considering the modern world and its evils. In For the Strength of Youth, the standard has been set for you:

Never use tobacco products.
Do not drink coffee or tea.
Any form of alcohol is harmful to your body and spirit.
Any drug, chemical, or dangerous practice that is used to produce a sensation or "high" can destroy your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.

These substances are meant to damage your body and spirit. This damage may result in addiction, loss of judgment and self-control, and disease.

Pres. Spencer W. Kimball said, "Whoever said that sin was not fun? Whoever claimed that Lucifer was not handsome, persuasive, easy, friendly? Sin is attractive and desirable. Transgression wears elegant gowns and sparkling apparel. It is highly perfumed; it has attractive features, a soft voice. It is found in educated circles and sophisticated groups. It provides sweet and comfortable luxuries. Sin is easy and has a big company of pleasant companions. It promises immunity from restrictions, temporary freedoms. It can momentarily satisfy hunger, thirst, desire, urges, passions, wants without immediately paying the price. But, it begins tiny and grows to monumental proportions-drop by drop, inch by inch. ("Faith Precedes the Miracle", p.229)

Because I love you, because I want you to fulfill your earthly mission, because I want you to be happy and enjoy your life, our family has rules. I know you think our family rules are too restrictive and that I just want to ruin your life. Our rules are there to help save your life! I have a "solemn responsibility to love and care for...[my] children." (The Family: A Proclamation to the World.) That is why I always want to know who you are with, where you are going and what you are doing and then I check up on you. It is not that I don't trust you-I want to be a good parent! That is why I insist that we eat dinner together as a family and talk to one another. That is why we plant a garden, do our chores, go bowling, help the neighbors, and go to church. I want to provide layers and layers of protective coverings to sustain you through the buffetings of life. Manoah and his wife asked the angel, "How shall we order the child, and how shall we do unto him? As I ask Heavenly Father the same questions, I too receive answers and try to follow them. Maybe neither of us understands the reasons for rules or certain actions at the time, but He does.

God has given you the greatest of all gifts-your agency. "You may choose right from wrong and act for yourself...While you are free to choose for yourself, you are not free to choose the consequences of your actions...Wrong choices delay your progression and lead to heartache and misery. Right choices lead to happiness and eternal life. That is why it is so important for you to choose what is right throughout your life." (For the Strength of Youth, p.4)

The most difficult choice you face right now in your life is friends. What kind of friends do you have? Do they like you for who you are? Do they share your values? Do they inspire and help you to be a better person? Do they treat you with kindness and respect? Are you a good friend? Your friends have a tremendous influence on you. I hope and pray for righteous friends.

I admonish you to be in the right places doing the right things. Satan rejoices when you put yourself in compromising situations. It is impossible to regularly attend parties where drugs and alcohol are present and not try one or both. Remember "...others [Satan] will pacify and lull them away into carnal securtiy that they will say: All is well in [at this party]; yea, [you] prospereth, all is well-and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell." (2 Nephi 28:21)

Please choose good friends and safe places.

If you make a wrong choice, I promise not to flip out, cause a scene or abandon you, but I will allow you to suffer the consequences of your poor choice. I will teach you about repentance so you will understand that "when you do what is necessary to receive forgiveness, you will know for yourself the power of the Atonement and the love God has for you." (For the Strength of Youth, p. 29)

Samson's poor choices left him without the gift of strength, blind, imprisoned by the Philistines and eventually dead from toppling a house upon the Philistines and himself. You have been promised by the First Presidency that "as you keep these standards and live by the truths in the scriptures, you will be able to do your life's work with greater wisdom and skill and bear trials with greater courage. You will have the help of the Holy Ghost. You will feel good about yourself and will be a positive influence in the lives of others. You will be worthy to go to the temple and to receive holy ordinances. These blessings and many more can be yours." (For the Strength of Youth, p. 2-3)

I love you and ask that we work together, as parent and child, to keep our covenants, fulfill our divine destinies and truly be happy.

Love,
Mom

The following websites have fantastic information about the warning signs of abuse, tips for parents and available help. Substance abuse includes inhalants, alcohol, tobacco, prescription medications and illegal drugs.

http://www.theantidrug.com/ (Lists all substances and specific warning signs; has many helpful documents available for download)

http://www.parentsempowered.org/ (A Utah website specifically addressing alcohol abuse. Has sample conversation starters to use with your kids-awesome!)