Christmas brings back lots of memories--not all of them pleasant. Each year growing up the Christmas tree was a huge source of contention. Dad would wade through the snow to find a tree, chop it down and bring it home. The only problem--Dad thought Christmas trees only needed one side. Our family had a Charlie Brown kind of tree most years to the great chagrin of my mother!
Another year my sister had asked Santa for a cassette player. We were down to the last two or three gifts to unwrap and had already checked out Santa's gifts. She started to cry because she was sure that there was no cassette player and promptly a gift was ripped from under the tree and slammed down in front of her.
After my husband and I were married, I had HUGE expectations about Christmas with my step-daughters. I had waited a long time for marriage and a family and was so excited to shop for them and find the perfect gifts. I was disappointed because it didn't always turn out the way I had imagined. (Example: think of a book you loved and how you felt when you saw the movie). So I have a new philosophy about Christmas (and most other holidays!)--Lower Your Expectations!
We often picture a "perfect" Christmas and we will always be disappointed because perfection is a realization for the next life and only a quest for this one.
How do I appropriately lower my holiday expections?
1. Take the path of least resistance. We have a blended family and now with marriages and in-laws, our children have many places they have to be, so we plan to avoid the holi"day" and celebrate at another time. For us, we have "Pie Night" on the Wednesday evening before Thanksgiving and take the kids skiing on the day of Christmas Eve. We get to spend time with them and enjoy them and hopefully relieve the pressure they feel to visit another house on the "day".
2. Don't wait-do what you want to do. I've spent many a Christmas waiting for the festivities to begin when the kids or family or friends arrive. If you want to have a big breakfast, cook it. If you want to exchange presents with whomever is present at 5:00 a.m. on Christmas, exchange them. If you want to take a nap, snore away! (They'll wake you up when they arrive.)
3. Traditions can be evil. Take the Lamanites for example! Traditions are meant to be broken and created. If a tradition isn't working for you, eliminate it or change it! Everyone doesn't have to have a new pair of pajamas on Christmas Eve.
During my many single years, my friends and I created a few traditions to help us focus on the blessings we did have and not the ones we didn't. "Pretend Christmas Morning" started with my college roommates. Breakfast was eated and gifts exchanged in our pajamas! This tradition continued beyond college.
The New Year's Eve "Movie Marathon" was created after many years of waiting for a cute boy to ring in the New Year with me. The disappointment of having no one to kiss at midnight became too great and so...the movie marathon was born. Friends and I would start watching movies in the afternoon, take a break for dinner and make sure that we were in a dark theatre when the clock struck twelve.
4. Keep or find a sense of humor and perspective--a valuable tool for large gatherings of family and festivities. The one-sided Christmas trees are a favorite tale now in our family and would you rather have a broken ornament or a broken heart. I am always looking for the "story to tell." There is one every year.
Since I've lowered my expectations, Christmas seems to get better and better each year. And when I focus on the reason for the season, I'm never disappointed.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Mirror the Master
Candles--a part of Christmas traditions throughout the world. In Ireland, a lighted candle is placed in the window as an invitation to Mary and Joseph as they look for shelter. Martin Luther placed candles on the tree "to represent the beauty and glory of the stars above Bethlehem." Advent wreaths include a single white candle representing Christ as the "light of the world". Perhaps this year, candles may be a metaphor to help us learn how to faithfully mirror the life and teachings of our Savior.
Candles are a source of light. Christ is our source of light and truth. John 8:12 “…I am the light of the world…” Psalms 27:1 "The Lord is my light.." Isaiah 60:19 " for the Lord shall be thine everlasting light.." 1 Nephi 17:13 "I will also be your light in the wilderness..." 3 Nephi 9:18 "I am the light and life of the world." We make the decision from where to obtain light every day. We mirror the Master when we choose His Light to guide and direct our thoughts, actions, words and deeds.
Candles are made by adding one layer of wax at a time. As I attended the temple, I was reminded of how we add to our testimony, faith, desire, etc. We are taught in the temple that Jesus is thoroughly, completely and entirely obedient to our Heavenly Father.
In 2 Nephi 31:7, we are taught that he showed us and witnessed to the Father that he would be obedient in keeping his commandments. His entire life was dedicated to doing the will of the Father, even unto death, Matthew 26:39, “let this cup pass from me; nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”
We move from being simply a wick to a large candle by our obedience. Every time we obey any commandment, we add another layer of wax and our capacity to attract more wax increases.
We are immediately blessed for our obedience. King Benjamin teaches, "he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you." (Mosiah 2:24) What are a few blessings for being obedient?
· D&C 59:3 Good things of the earth
· D&C 64:34 Eat good of the land of Zion
· D&C 89:18 Receive health
· D&C 91:1 See the Lord’s face
· D&C 130:19 Knowledge and intelligence
· D&C 130:21 Specific blessings to commandments
· D&C 138:4 Salvation
· Moses 5:1 Eternal Life
Obedience is a habit and a routine and is the key to happiness. "I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness." (Mosiah 2:41)
You each deserve such happiness and the pure joy that comes from living the gospel completely. Several years ago, I witnessed that joy and its opposite sorrow as two former students delivered babies. One married in the temple a darling young man who shared her goals and desires. The other was not married and the boyfriend broke off the relationship soon after he learned of the pregnancy. What a stark contrast of emotions, challenges and hopes as those babies were born.
Candles give light and direction. "Behold I am the light; I have set an example for you." (3 Nephi 18:16) We mirror the Master when we burn brightly and “giveth light to all that are in the house, that they may see our good works and glorify our Father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16) The Mutual theme for 2009 is "Be thou an example of the believers in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12) Let's join the Young Men and Women in this quest and mirror the Savior's example.
As we celebrate the Savior's birth this season, may we allow "Christ [to] give thee light" (Ephesians 5:14), add another layer of wax as we keep His commandments more earnestly, and share His gift of happiness and eternal life with others as we mirror His life.
Candles are a source of light. Christ is our source of light and truth. John 8:12 “…I am the light of the world…” Psalms 27:1 "The Lord is my light.." Isaiah 60:19 " for the Lord shall be thine everlasting light.." 1 Nephi 17:13 "I will also be your light in the wilderness..." 3 Nephi 9:18 "I am the light and life of the world." We make the decision from where to obtain light every day. We mirror the Master when we choose His Light to guide and direct our thoughts, actions, words and deeds.
Candles are made by adding one layer of wax at a time. As I attended the temple, I was reminded of how we add to our testimony, faith, desire, etc. We are taught in the temple that Jesus is thoroughly, completely and entirely obedient to our Heavenly Father.
In 2 Nephi 31:7, we are taught that he showed us and witnessed to the Father that he would be obedient in keeping his commandments. His entire life was dedicated to doing the will of the Father, even unto death, Matthew 26:39, “let this cup pass from me; nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”
We move from being simply a wick to a large candle by our obedience. Every time we obey any commandment, we add another layer of wax and our capacity to attract more wax increases.
We are immediately blessed for our obedience. King Benjamin teaches, "he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you." (Mosiah 2:24) What are a few blessings for being obedient?
· D&C 59:3 Good things of the earth
· D&C 64:34 Eat good of the land of Zion
· D&C 89:18 Receive health
· D&C 91:1 See the Lord’s face
· D&C 130:19 Knowledge and intelligence
· D&C 130:21 Specific blessings to commandments
· D&C 138:4 Salvation
· Moses 5:1 Eternal Life
Obedience is a habit and a routine and is the key to happiness. "I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness." (Mosiah 2:41)
You each deserve such happiness and the pure joy that comes from living the gospel completely. Several years ago, I witnessed that joy and its opposite sorrow as two former students delivered babies. One married in the temple a darling young man who shared her goals and desires. The other was not married and the boyfriend broke off the relationship soon after he learned of the pregnancy. What a stark contrast of emotions, challenges and hopes as those babies were born.
Candles give light and direction. "Behold I am the light; I have set an example for you." (3 Nephi 18:16) We mirror the Master when we burn brightly and “giveth light to all that are in the house, that they may see our good works and glorify our Father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16) The Mutual theme for 2009 is "Be thou an example of the believers in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12) Let's join the Young Men and Women in this quest and mirror the Savior's example.
As we celebrate the Savior's birth this season, may we allow "Christ [to] give thee light" (Ephesians 5:14), add another layer of wax as we keep His commandments more earnestly, and share His gift of happiness and eternal life with others as we mirror His life.
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