You're hired! Donald Trump says that to his apprentice but your teens may not be hearing those words or seeing any signs that say "Help Wanted" this year. In the current economy, teens in my area are seeing fewer and fewer opportunities for summer jobs. Some of those jobs usually taken by teens are hiring more adults (who have lost their jobs) and some businesses are simply not filling positions.
How can your teen learn a few life lessons and make some money without having a summer job? That will require some creativity. Here are some of my ideas. Hopefully they can serve as a springboard to your own creative solutions.
The Punch Pass-I'm a huge advocate of teen entrepreneurship and like to support those youth who start their own businesses. This summer in order to save a few bucks, most of us have resorted to mowing our own lawns, washing our own windows and staying home more often. However, a teen interested in starting their own lawn mowing, window washing or babysitting business could hand out punch passes, not only to advertise their business, but also to give an additional incentive. Would you be more interested in having the neighbor boy mow your lawn if every 5th mow was free?
The Chore File-Let's face it. If they don't get a job, you will be paying for everything from their entertainment to their school extracurricular camps, so hire them yourself. A good friend earned extra money from her parents by selecting an extra chore from a file box. Each card listed the chore and the money to be earned. Payment was dependent upon the satisfactory completion of the chore--inspected, of course, by mom and dad.
Another idea is to give them most of the responsibility for a family project and pay them to do it. Some suggestions are the laundry, including the washing, drying, and ironing; cooking meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner; the planting, weeding, watering and harvesting of the garden; deep cleaning such as washing walls, shampooing carpets, and cleaning light fixtures.
If you work and they watch the younger children, pay them to do so. Expecting a teen to babysit younger siblings and not pay them for it is selfish and fosters ill feelings in the teen. Occasional babysitting is a part of being a family member, but everyday tending is a different matter. That responsibility and work deserves a paycheck.
Enlist Support from Grandparents-Your parents may have the means to pay grandchildren for good help. I believe that grandkids should help their grandparents often without expecting any money, but I always appreciated the opportunity to help my grandparents with a project and earn some extra money.
Volunteer-This option doesn't include any money for your teen at the present time, but may earn huge dividends in other ways. Most college scholarships are awarded to students who excel in one of three ways: academics, leadership or service.
Some students have opportunities to travel to faraway places and build schools or wells and that is impressive. But equally as impressive are those teens who give sustained, meaningful service in their communities. What do I mean by sustained? Service that goes beyond the one-night young men or young women service project. Service that continues for weeks, months and even years that may have begun as a simple one night project but became more than that.
What does your teen enjoy doing? What are they good at? What careers are they considering? Answering those questions can be a starting point for finding service opportunities that would be meaningful for your student and help their desire to serve last longer than one night.
Go to Summer School-Many school districts offer courses for credit during the summer months. Summer school is fabulous way to take some required courses that would allow a teen to take additional electives during the school year. My niece and nephew have both done this by attending classes at their local school and taking online classes from the Utah Electronic High School. Applied Technology Colleges also allow high school students to take courses for credit.
Work is a blessing and a part of the plan of salvation. In order to teach the plan to your teen this summer, you may have to hire (and maybe fire) them. Best wishes for a great summer. Only 82 more days until school starts again!
Showing posts with label teens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teens. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Chores: Willingly or Grudgingly?
"Be willing to help in the home with chores that need to be done." For the Strength of Youth, p. 10
Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of ...work. The Family: A Proclamation to the World
"Children need to work with their parents, to wash dishes with them, to mop floors with them, to mow lawns, to prune trees and shrubbery, to paint and fix up, to clean up, and to do a hundred other things in which they will learn that labor is the price of cleanliness, progress, and prosperity." Gordon B. Hinckley, "Four Simple Things to Help Our Families and Our Nations", Liahona, June 1996, p. 3.
As parents, we know that our children, especially teens should help in the home; however, convincing the teenage son or daughter that they should help willingly and happily is the challenge.
So how do we create an atmosphere of willingness with our teens, especially with family chores? I asked families in my real neighborhood for their ideas.
Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of ...work. The Family: A Proclamation to the World
"Children need to work with their parents, to wash dishes with them, to mop floors with them, to mow lawns, to prune trees and shrubbery, to paint and fix up, to clean up, and to do a hundred other things in which they will learn that labor is the price of cleanliness, progress, and prosperity." Gordon B. Hinckley, "Four Simple Things to Help Our Families and Our Nations", Liahona, June 1996, p. 3.
As parents, we know that our children, especially teens should help in the home; however, convincing the teenage son or daughter that they should help willingly and happily is the challenge.
So how do we create an atmosphere of willingness with our teens, especially with family chores? I asked families in my real neighborhood for their ideas.
- Write down the chores to be done on Saturday, place them in a jar and have everyone draw one out. Keep drawing until all the chores are finished, then go for ice cream.
- When I offered to take a meal to a family this week, the mother said that it wasn't necessary because she doesn't cook during the week, her kids do. Each teen is assigned a day to cook dinner.
- In another family, each child is responsible to do their own laundry. In my home, I still do the laundry, but my 5 year-old loves to help with that chore.
- In order to provide opportunities for their kids to earn money, another family puts "extra" chores on file cards with a corresponding money amount that the children may earn for bikes, dolls, etc.
- Instead of a Saturday full of chores, one family opts to have an evening chore each day of the week. Chores rotate each week between children.
- Two families include some "non-traditional" chores on their To-Do lists including car and home maintenance.
- One mom hides money under picture frames, vases, and other decorative items to ensure that dusting happens under items, not just around them.
- Another mom lists the top 7 or 8 chores she wants to complete on Saturday. Then the mom asks her daughter which 3 she would be willing to do in order to have the time do something together in the afternoon.
- Another family is convinced that to get the chores done, have fun and grow together, families must work together-all together. They clean the bathrooms, weed the garden, wash the cars and mop the floors together. It can be chaotic--even messy--but no one is left to work alone.
- One family turns up the tunes--fun ones with a beat--and dances their way through the Saturday chores.
Mary Poppins had the right idea. "A teaspoon of sugar makes the medicine go down in the most delightful way!" I believe that the only thing that really changes with time is the size of the body. Most of us are really 5 year-olds in much bigger bodies, and we still want to have fun.
So let's have some blogging fun, too. I'm asking you--my virtual neighborhood--for your ideas and suggestions. Please post a comment with your ideas of how you make chores fun for you and your teens. Blog Tag--you're it!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Teen Reading
Giving a book to a student and watching the spark of reading occur is one of the great thrills of a teacher or school librarian. Unfortunately, school often becomes the enemy to the pursuit of reading for enjoyment and fun.
In countless examples, I have seen computer-based reading comprehension programs and required novels for English courses discourage reading in students. From my perspective as a former high school librarian and having two daughters experience it first-hand, they stopped selecting books they wanted to read and only looked for a book at their "level" or the "requirements" to earn the points they need for their class grade.
Emphasis on reading from local, state and national levels has created more assessments, more computer applications, more strategies, more, more, more. What about less? As they say, less truly is more, especially when it comes to reading and enjoying it.
How can you help your teen meet the requirements for school and still enjoy reading?
Decide to jump through the hoops.
You and your student may dislike all of the components of the school reading program or English teacher's curriculum. How can you both survive it and maybe even learn to thrive?
Make it less painful by doing your research. For comprehension programs where students may select their reading materials, what books will your student enjoy and meet the requirements? Ask the teacher, other parents and students, and look online. Make a game out of earning those points, such as:
earning "get-out-of-your-chore-free" cards,
earning additional time toward playing video games or television,
having a pizza party with friends,
or other rewards that would inspire your teen.
Is an assigned class novel too difficult for your student? No one usually says you have to read every word of a book alone. Try an audio book. Have them read it aloud to you while you drive or make dinner. Read with them alternating pages or chapters. Watch the movie and then read the book. Where does it differ? Where is it the same? And last, but certainly not least there is always Cliffnotes-use it as a resource, not as a replacement!
Perhaps it doesn't meet your values? Is the teacher open to suggestions? Propose alternate books, assignments and assessments to the teacher. Be flexible and willing to work with the teacher.
Provide a plethora of reading opportunities at home.
The following reading materials are an absolute must in every home:
a local newspaper--it provides information about events, people and issues in your area. Foster an interest in current events and happenings where you live.
magazines of interest at a different ages--you should already have The Friend, New Era and Ensign. What other interests do your children have? I love Kids Discover and Highlights for children and subject specific magazines for teens like PC, Hot Rod or Boy's Life.
classic books--those that are truly classics and those that are classics to no one but you. My library has Shakespeare, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Steinbeck, Stephenie Meyer, Gerald Lund and Mrs. Pollifax! None of them were purchased new. I love to shop thrift stores, paperback exchanges, yard sales and trade with family, friends and neighbors.
a library card--it opens the world to all of us. In the current economic times, you can read your local newspaper as well as several national ones, check out back issues of magazines your kids love, read a classic for the first time, reread your favorites or check out an audio book. As well, you can always submit your wish list for future purchases. Your local librarians are always interested in ordering materials of interest to patrons.
Read what your child is reading.
The young adult genre has exploded in the last decade. The number of authors writing YA literature and the quality has significantly increased. In fact, I enjoy reading young adult fiction as much as adult fiction. Explore the shelves in the young adult section and read and discuss those books with them. It's a great window to their world and a way to increase bonds of friendship and love.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Got it?
You are the example. If your child sees you reading a variety of materials everyday and has your help in his reading efforts, he will know how much you enjoy and value reading.
Turn off the reality shows and try something new. Connect to a fantasy, a graphic novel or maybe someone else's real life.
Explore these websites:
American Library Association-Teen Booklists
http://www.ala.org/ala/mgrps/divs/yalsa/booklistsawards/booklistsbook.cfm
Teen Reads Book Reviews
http://www.teenreads.com/reviews/index.asp
Reading Blog for Teens--a bit edgy but if you really want to know what's in a book, she will let you know!
http://www.readingrants.org/
In countless examples, I have seen computer-based reading comprehension programs and required novels for English courses discourage reading in students. From my perspective as a former high school librarian and having two daughters experience it first-hand, they stopped selecting books they wanted to read and only looked for a book at their "level" or the "requirements" to earn the points they need for their class grade.
Emphasis on reading from local, state and national levels has created more assessments, more computer applications, more strategies, more, more, more. What about less? As they say, less truly is more, especially when it comes to reading and enjoying it.
How can you help your teen meet the requirements for school and still enjoy reading?
Decide to jump through the hoops.
You and your student may dislike all of the components of the school reading program or English teacher's curriculum. How can you both survive it and maybe even learn to thrive?
Make it less painful by doing your research. For comprehension programs where students may select their reading materials, what books will your student enjoy and meet the requirements? Ask the teacher, other parents and students, and look online. Make a game out of earning those points, such as:
earning "get-out-of-your-chore-free" cards,
earning additional time toward playing video games or television,
having a pizza party with friends,
or other rewards that would inspire your teen.
Is an assigned class novel too difficult for your student? No one usually says you have to read every word of a book alone. Try an audio book. Have them read it aloud to you while you drive or make dinner. Read with them alternating pages or chapters. Watch the movie and then read the book. Where does it differ? Where is it the same? And last, but certainly not least there is always Cliffnotes-use it as a resource, not as a replacement!
Perhaps it doesn't meet your values? Is the teacher open to suggestions? Propose alternate books, assignments and assessments to the teacher. Be flexible and willing to work with the teacher.
Provide a plethora of reading opportunities at home.
The following reading materials are an absolute must in every home:
a local newspaper--it provides information about events, people and issues in your area. Foster an interest in current events and happenings where you live.
magazines of interest at a different ages--you should already have The Friend, New Era and Ensign. What other interests do your children have? I love Kids Discover and Highlights for children and subject specific magazines for teens like PC, Hot Rod or Boy's Life.
classic books--those that are truly classics and those that are classics to no one but you. My library has Shakespeare, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Steinbeck, Stephenie Meyer, Gerald Lund and Mrs. Pollifax! None of them were purchased new. I love to shop thrift stores, paperback exchanges, yard sales and trade with family, friends and neighbors.
a library card--it opens the world to all of us. In the current economic times, you can read your local newspaper as well as several national ones, check out back issues of magazines your kids love, read a classic for the first time, reread your favorites or check out an audio book. As well, you can always submit your wish list for future purchases. Your local librarians are always interested in ordering materials of interest to patrons.
Read what your child is reading.
The young adult genre has exploded in the last decade. The number of authors writing YA literature and the quality has significantly increased. In fact, I enjoy reading young adult fiction as much as adult fiction. Explore the shelves in the young adult section and read and discuss those books with them. It's a great window to their world and a way to increase bonds of friendship and love.
Read. Read. Read. Read. Read. Got it?
You are the example. If your child sees you reading a variety of materials everyday and has your help in his reading efforts, he will know how much you enjoy and value reading.
Turn off the reality shows and try something new. Connect to a fantasy, a graphic novel or maybe someone else's real life.
Explore these websites:
American Library Association-Teen Booklists
http://www.ala.org/ala/mgrps/divs/yalsa/booklistsawards/booklistsbook.cfm
Teen Reads Book Reviews
http://www.teenreads.com/reviews/index.asp
Reading Blog for Teens--a bit edgy but if you really want to know what's in a book, she will let you know!
http://www.readingrants.org/
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Sweet 16--The Arrival of Dating
Sixteen! A glorious age--an age where opportunites and privileges for your teen increase. Unfortunately your worry and sleepless nights increase too. One of those privileges is dating. Whether you and your teen simply survive dating or learn to thrive begins many years before your teen's magical 16th birthday.
A good friend tells the story of the method her parents used to address dating. As part of a Family Home Evening lesson, the family dating rules were established. Not necessarily an uncommon experience, however the oldest child was 12 and just entering adolescence. It was a family council with an opportunity for all to speak and express their thoughts and opinions. The rules were written down, posted and discussed over the next four years as the eldest sibling approached 16. As each sibling arrived at that glorious age of 16, they experienced "The Rules". There were some they didn't like, some they thought were unfair, and some they thought dumb, but each sibling and the parents passed through the adolescent dating years relatively intact.
Although this method may not be for every family, it does illustrate some very effective decisions. First, the parents started talking about dating, relationships and expectations very early. The topic of "Dating" in the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet was their text and guide. This valuable resource outlining the doctrine, do's, don'ts and consequences of the Lord's standards should be utilized in families with children of all ages. It is based on doctrine and assists us in raising our children.
Second, the parents established a way, a time, and a place to discuss issues that involve the entire family. They used family home evening and family councils to address dating standards. They established a family standard based on the Lord's standard. The Lord gives us the standard, but leaves most of the details of how we live the standard up to our interpretation and agency. This family defined what the Lord's standard of dating looks like in their family. Each person had an opportunity to share their thoughts and ask questions. Those family experiences fostered close and open communication.
Third, the children learned by word and example the values of their parents. They knew the expectations and they also knew the consequences. The children knew that heeding the family standard would earn trust and respect and disobedience would earn loss of privileges and trust.
Fourth, another important aspect is consistency. We, as parents, must be consistent with standards. That is not to say there is never any flexibility, but what you do for one, you have to do for all. A favorite line of mine from "Dating" is "Do not date until you are at least 16 years old." It says "at least" not "almost".
Fifth, the family buck stops with you, the parent. Years ago a parent could lay down the law with "Because I said so"; but with today's teens that is an invitation to argue, fight and be downright disagreeable to live with. If you have non-negotiable dating items, explain why. What do you see as risks, consequences, fears, or negative feelings about the issue? Be willing to discuss, ask their opinion and listen! It probably won't change your mind, but it validates your child. Another line to talk about: "Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person." What do you consider "frequent"? What does your child consider "frequent"? Why is the Lord concerned about "frequent dating"? How does Satan use "frequent dating" to lead young men and young women from the truth?
Sixteen and dating is such an exciting time. As you live the standards and help your family to follow them, the Lord will give you direction and assistance so that you can enjoy that time of your teen's life with them.
A good friend tells the story of the method her parents used to address dating. As part of a Family Home Evening lesson, the family dating rules were established. Not necessarily an uncommon experience, however the oldest child was 12 and just entering adolescence. It was a family council with an opportunity for all to speak and express their thoughts and opinions. The rules were written down, posted and discussed over the next four years as the eldest sibling approached 16. As each sibling arrived at that glorious age of 16, they experienced "The Rules". There were some they didn't like, some they thought were unfair, and some they thought dumb, but each sibling and the parents passed through the adolescent dating years relatively intact.
Although this method may not be for every family, it does illustrate some very effective decisions. First, the parents started talking about dating, relationships and expectations very early. The topic of "Dating" in the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet was their text and guide. This valuable resource outlining the doctrine, do's, don'ts and consequences of the Lord's standards should be utilized in families with children of all ages. It is based on doctrine and assists us in raising our children.
Second, the parents established a way, a time, and a place to discuss issues that involve the entire family. They used family home evening and family councils to address dating standards. They established a family standard based on the Lord's standard. The Lord gives us the standard, but leaves most of the details of how we live the standard up to our interpretation and agency. This family defined what the Lord's standard of dating looks like in their family. Each person had an opportunity to share their thoughts and ask questions. Those family experiences fostered close and open communication.
Third, the children learned by word and example the values of their parents. They knew the expectations and they also knew the consequences. The children knew that heeding the family standard would earn trust and respect and disobedience would earn loss of privileges and trust.
Fourth, another important aspect is consistency. We, as parents, must be consistent with standards. That is not to say there is never any flexibility, but what you do for one, you have to do for all. A favorite line of mine from "Dating" is "Do not date until you are at least 16 years old." It says "at least" not "almost".
Fifth, the family buck stops with you, the parent. Years ago a parent could lay down the law with "Because I said so"; but with today's teens that is an invitation to argue, fight and be downright disagreeable to live with. If you have non-negotiable dating items, explain why. What do you see as risks, consequences, fears, or negative feelings about the issue? Be willing to discuss, ask their opinion and listen! It probably won't change your mind, but it validates your child. Another line to talk about: "Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person." What do you consider "frequent"? What does your child consider "frequent"? Why is the Lord concerned about "frequent dating"? How does Satan use "frequent dating" to lead young men and young women from the truth?
Sixteen and dating is such an exciting time. As you live the standards and help your family to follow them, the Lord will give you direction and assistance so that you can enjoy that time of your teen's life with them.
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