Keep a Cow

Earlier this week when I reminded my four year-old daughter to do one of her chores-put the clean utensils away-she opened the dishwasher, sighed an enormous sigh and said, "I wish I didn't have to do all the work." Whether four or fourteen, all parents have heard similar things. Often the preparation and effort that it takes to teach children to work is more difficult than doing it ourselves. At those times my husband reminds me of this story from Elder Loren C. Dunn:

"While we were growing up in a small community, my father saw the need for my brother and me to learn the principle of work. As a result, he put us to work on a small farm on the edge of town where he had been raised. He ran the local newspaper, so he could not spend much time with us except early in the morning and in the evening. That was quite a responsibility for two young teenagers, and sometimes we made mistakes.

Our small farm was surrounded by other farms, and one of the farmers went in to see my father one day to tell him the things he thought we were doing wrong. My father listened to him carefully and then said, 'Jim, you don't understand. You see, I'm raising boys not cows." (Duties and Blessings of the Priesthood Part B, "Lesson 15: Sharing in Family Work," p. 131)

So I'm raising a daughter not emptying the dishwasher, but in the end does it matter if she empties the dishwasher?

"Two elderly neighbors one day were talking about their lives and those of their children. John's oldest boy was just finishing college and had been on the honor roll through all of his studies. Jim's boy had just been convicted of a serious crime and sent to the state prison. Jim and John had lived side by side and been good neighbors during their sons' growing up period. Their boys had played together and had gone to school together. Jim, in discussing what had happened, stated, "The whole difference between our sons' lives was that you kept a cow, John. I recall that when the boys were playing, your boy would leave early so that he could milk and feed the cow. By keeping that cow you taught your boy responsibility." (Duties and Blessings of the Priesthood, Part B, "Lesson 11: The Father as Patriarch," p. 96)

Yes it does matter, now and in the eternities. Work is a gospel principle. Elder Neal A. Maxell said, "The gospel of work is a very important teaching of the church. If we learn to work early in life we will be better individuals, better members of families, better neighbors, and better disciples of Jesus Christ, who Himself learned to work as a carpenter." (The Friend, June 1975, p. 7)

Our task as parents is to find the "cow"! Most of us live in urban and suburban communities without the ability to keep a real cow, but we must find work, responsibilities and inner personal strength equal to that of raising a cow, especially as the summer vacation looms ahead with cries of "I'm bored!", "What can we do?" and "I don't want to do that!" Are there any "cows" out there?

School-School should be a child's first responsibility--doing homework, studying for tests, reading for assignment and pleasure. In the summer, many secondary schools offer a summer enrichment school where teens can take required courses toward graduation or elective classes. Many universities offer independent study or online classes to high school students.

Chores-Each child needs to have personal and family responsibilities. Brainstorm chores for each child based on their abilities and let them choose their own chores, selecting new ones every month or so.

Garden-Pres. Kimball taught, "We encourage you to grow all the food that you feasibly can on your own property...If there are children in your home, involve them in the process with assigned responsibilities." Plant a garden or if you don't have space for garden, try container gardening.

Family Work Projects-From cleaning out the garage to restoring a vintage automobile, the possibilities are endless. My father-in-law would buy vehicles in need of fixing-up. My husband would work on it and when it was finished, his dad would sell it and buy another. Before the time my husband could drive he had restored a '57 Chevrolet Apache and '65 Mustang. When he turned 16, dad did buy him another car--a Pinto stationwagon with wood paneling!

Start a Business- Help your teens start their own business, especially those who are not old enough to have a job. A neighbor boy wanted to earn money to save for a mission and started his own lawn mowing business. He had no lawn mowing equipment but that did not stop him. He advertised that he would mow lawns using each family's own equipment, charging a lesser fee than other lawn mowing services. We hired him and he did such an excellent job that soon he had more than 20 neighbors who hired him. What does your teen like to do? How could he earn money doing it? What about:

• Teens teaching a summer activity camp for preschool and elementary age kids.
• Young women offering their scrapbooking services to busy moms with a price-per-page or entire album pricing.
• Help with household work such as a cleaning service, window washing, car detailing, pet grooming, etc.

Jobs in the Real World-Encourage your teens to find a job in the real world. Help them write a resume, role-play an interview and look for a job. Beware of jobs requiring work on Sundays. Nothing is more important than our children attending their meetings with us. Our first priority is our relationship with our Savior and teaching our children to draw near to Him. Anything that takes us or our children away from partaking of the sacrament is non-negotiable.

Pres. David O. McKay said, "Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that the power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success."

Good luck in finding and keeping "cows".

For ideas on children, household chores and fun, see http://www.housefairy.org/

For entrepreneurial teens, see Junior Achievement at http://studentcenter.ja.org/aspx/PlanBusiness/

For garden helps, see http://www.kidsgardening.com/family.asp