Helping Our Children Recognize the Spirit of God

"What is a burning bosom?" I asked that question more than once as a teenager. Back in my day, Doctrine & Covenants 9: 8-9 was seemingly the only scripture used to teach someone how to recognize the Spirit of God.

During all my teenage years and a few beyond that, I really believed that I had never felt the Spirit. I recognized the "stupor of thought" part--frequently; but "your bosom shall burn within you"--it didn't. And being a painfully shy teenager who didn't want to be embarrassed, I didn't admit it or ask my parents or leaders questions about the manifestations of the Spirit.

Learning to recognize and heed the Spirit of God has become a lifelong quest. My desire to really know for myself turned me to the scriptures. I found many that described the manifestation of the Spirit in other ways. Some of my favorites are: D&C 6:14-15, 23; Alma 32:34; D&C 76:12; D&C 128:1 and Joseph Smith-History 1:12.

I made decisions in my formative years that have blessed my life and my family and have helped me to fulfill my own divine mission. I realize that because of my great desire to do good, the Lord blessed me even though I thought I didn't recognize his Spirit.

Our children however, must not wander on their own to find the power and influence of the Spirit "for Satan is abroad in the land" (D&C 52:14) and "Satan hath desired you, that he may sift the children of the kingdom as wheat." (JST Luke 22:31)

Teenagers are in an especially precarious position because they begin to question things they were taught in their youth when their friends increase in influence. How can we help our children recognize the Spirit?

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) Recently I purchased a clearance book-on-CD by Elder Gene R. Cook entitled "Raising Up a Family to the Lord". The big message to me was "Turn them to the Lord".

In the 2008 BYU Women's Conference, the Young Women General Presidency said, "Youth have questions, and they need to find the answers for themselves. The youth are really quite amazing. They like to discover and learn for themselves. They can go to the Internet or their cell phones for answers, but is that where they should be turning for spiritual answers? Elder Bednar reminds us we must never underestimate their spiritual capacity and spiritual hunger...They have questions. Heaven has answers. If we as mothers and leaders can facilitate an interaction of those two powerful facts, we will witness miracles."

So, how do we facilitate that interaction and turn them to the Lord?

Study the scriptures. Specifically study those scriptures that reveal how the Spirit of God works. Preach My Gospel is an excellent resource to use with an entire section on recognizing the Spirit. Discuss with each child individually how the Spirit touches them. Explain what a "burning bosom" is and that it isn't always in your bosom. If that phrase is embarrassing to them, teach them other verses to describe those feelings that they can use instead.

Be the example. Do you turn to the Lord when you have questions? Does your daily life reflect your reliance on the Spirit? Do you have personal prayer and personal scripture study? Do you direct your family in family prayer, family scripture study, and family home evening?

Turn to the Lord with them. As they encounter questions, concerns or problems, go to the Lord with them. Several months ago after being split off from a ward and friends my 5 year-old loved, she announced on Sunday morning that she didn't want to go to church. All of our talk of nice Primary teachers and new friends did not convince her.

I ventured in to scary territory. I told her that if she really did not want to go and if she would pray to Heavenly Father and ask Him if it was alright for her to stay home, then she could do just that. With a prayer in my heart, we prayed and she told Heavenly Father how she felt and that she didn't want to go and wasn't going to go and was that okay with Him? Before she ended her prayer, tears were streaming down her face and she said she knew Heavenly Father wanted her to go. Then another prayer was said asking for help to like our new ward, her new Primary class and her new friends. And...she has not asked to stay home again.

Provide opportunities for them to turn to the Lord. Give your children opportunities to lead at home. Are they responsible for leading the family in family home evening, family scripture study, family prayer or other activities? Do you counsel with them on several possible topics for family home evening and/or scripture study and ask them to make a decision with guidance from the Spirit? When dad is out of town, does your deacon, teacher or priest feel the mantle of priesthood leadership on his shoulders?

Encourage children to fulfill assignments. Whether your child is to give a talk in Primary, serve as the Mia Maid president or complete the Duty to God requirements, turn them to the Lord in making decisions on what to speak on and how to say it; what activity to have and what purpose it fulfills; what Personal Progress value project to select. Those opportunities have been provided through these programs to give children, young men and young women another chance to feel the impressions of the Spirit.

Finally, a word of caution. Our loving Heavenly Father blesses us with two awesome gifts--our mind and our will. He expects us to use both. We need to and should turn to the Lord for help but He will not direct us in everything we do.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "[A person may have] a strong desire to be led by the Spirit of the Lord but...unwisely extends that desire to the point of wanting to be led in all things. A desire to be led by the Lord is a strength, but it needs to be accompanied by an understanding that our Heavenly Father leaves many decisions for our personal choices. Personal decision making is one of the sources of the growth we are meant to experience in mortality. Persons who try to shift all decision making to the Lord and plead for revelation in every choice will soon find circumstances in which they pray for guidance and don't receive it. For example, this is likely to occur in those numerous circumstances in which the choices are trivial or either choice is acceptable.

We should study things out in our minds, using the reasoning powers our Creator has placed within us. Then we should pray for guidance and act upon it if we receive it. If we do not receive guidance, we should act upon our best judgment. Persons who persist in seeking revelatory guidance on subjects on which the Lord has not chosen to direct us may concoct an answer out of their own fantasy or bias, or they may even receive an answer through the medium of false revelation." ("Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall," Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13-14)

I wasn't as far from hearing the voice of the Lord in my younger years as I thought. I did study things out and made my own decisions based on a "gut" feeling. As I've grown older, I've learned that my "gut" feeling, an "enlightened mind" and feelings that "occupy my mind" are impressions of the Spirit.

May we help our children learn and recognize these impressions early so they may have confidence in receiving revelation when their question, concern or problem deserves "a burning bosom" answer.