Teen Suicide

The tardy bell for class had rung and I was taking roll. Over the intercom came the principal's voice telling me, my class and the school that Todd* had commited suicide. I stared at the desk in the second row where Todd sat during this class period. Waves of shock, sadness and fear gripped me as 35 other students looked at his empty desk and then at me.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, suicide is the 3rd leading cause for death among 15-24 year olds and 6th leading cause for 5-14 year olds. Girls are twice as likely to attempt suicide as boys. Boys are four times more likely to die because they use more lethal methods in their attempts. Sixty percent of adolescents have thought about it. Take a look at your teen and his friends or the young women or men age group in your ward. In a Mia Maid class of 10, 6 of them have thought about committing suicide. It is estimated that for every suicide there are 8-25 attempted suicides. Four of five teens who died gave clear warning signs.

In class and around school, Todd seemed happy, surrounded by friends and always joking and having fun. Why Todd? why then? What could I have done to prevent this tragedy? What can all of us do to prevent suicide?

1. Observe your teen and and look for warning signs. The National Alliance of Mental Illness, http://www.nami.org/, lists the following signs:

• Extreme personality changes
• Loss of interest in activities that used to be enjoyable
• Significant loss or gain in appetite
• Difficulty falling asleep or wanting to sleep all day
• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Neglect of personal appearance or hygiene
• Sadness, irritability, or indifference
• Having trouble concentrating
• Extreme anxiety or panic
• Drug or alcohol use or abuse
• Aggressive, destructive, or defiant behavior
• Poor school performance
• Hallucinations or unusual beliefs

2. Talk to your child about suicide, especially if he exibits any of the above behaviors. Do not be afraid to bring it up for fear of introducing the idea to them. It really is a matter of life or death.

3. Listen, listen and listen. What does listening look like? sound like? feel like? Is it possible to multi-task and hear what our teens are saying? Hmmm......

4. Be at the crossroads in your children's lives. In the pamphlet Mothers in Zion, Pres. Ezra Taft Bension wrote, "Take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going … whether your children are six or sixteen…" A good friend and working mother from Albuquerque, New Mexico said that if she had to do it all over again she would work when her children were in elementary school and stay home when they reached junior high, because they needed her (fully present) and her time (undivided) more at the age of 13 than they had at 5.

5. Cultivate a relationship with your teen. Listen to their music, read one of their books, play Wii with them, play on their turf to learn about their reality and surroundings and remember your own youth. Pres. Harold B. Lee said, "Today I feel that women are becoming victims of the speed of modern living. It is in building their motherly intuition and that marvelous closeness with their children that they are enabled to tune in upon the wavelengths of their children and to pick up the first signs of difficulty, of danger and distress, which if caught in time would save them from disaster." Teaching of Harold B. Lee, p. 288.

6. Pray and believe! One of my favorite verses of scripture is Alma 58:10-11, "Therefore we did pour out our souls in prayer to God, that he would strengthen us and deliver us out of the hands of our enemies, yea, and also give us strength that we might retain our cities, and our lands, and our possessions, for the support of our people. Yea, and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch he did speak peace to our souls, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our deliverance in him." As the Nephite armies prepared for battle, they prayed and the Lord gave them assurances, great faith and hope.

7. Use the Atonement. "And he (Christ) shall go forth, suffering pains and afflications and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people." (Alma 7:11) Jesus Christ really did take our pains and sicknesses upon him, even the tempation of suicide. From the Addiction Recovery Program manual, page 10, it gives this scripture from Alma 15:6, 8 and the following question, "Believest thou in the power of Christ unto salvation?...If thou believest in the redemption of Christ thou canst be healed." When we think of healing, we usually think about our bodies. What else about you might require the healing power of Jesus Christ?

I'm not sure all of the reasons Todd had for choosing to take his own life. But I do know that the power of the Atonement is real and that Christ has the power to heal our bodies, minds and spirits. Teenagers have a difficult time seeing a future beyond lunch so as parents, teachers and leaders we must do all we can-observe, discuss difficult topics, listen, be there, create an understanding relationship, pray and use the Atonement-to give them a glimpse into the beauty of them and their future.

Excellent Websites on Teen Suicide:

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/teen_suicide

http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/suicide.html

http://www.nami.org/Content/ContentGroups/Helpline1/Teenage_Suicide.htm

http://www.focusas.com/Suicide.html