Christmas brings back lots of memories--not all of them pleasant. Each year growing up the Christmas tree was a huge source of contention. Dad would wade through the snow to find a tree, chop it down and bring it home. The only problem--Dad thought Christmas trees only needed one side. Our family had a Charlie Brown kind of tree most years to the great chagrin of my mother!
Another year my sister had asked Santa for a cassette player. We were down to the last two or three gifts to unwrap and had already checked out Santa's gifts. She started to cry because she was sure that there was no cassette player and promptly a gift was ripped from under the tree and slammed down in front of her.
After my husband and I were married, I had HUGE expectations about Christmas with my step-daughters. I had waited a long time for marriage and a family and was so excited to shop for them and find the perfect gifts. I was disappointed because it didn't always turn out the way I had imagined. (Example: think of a book you loved and how you felt when you saw the movie). So I have a new philosophy about Christmas (and most other holidays!)--Lower Your Expectations!
We often picture a "perfect" Christmas and we will always be disappointed because perfection is a realization for the next life and only a quest for this one.
How do I appropriately lower my holiday expections?
1. Take the path of least resistance. We have a blended family and now with marriages and in-laws, our children have many places they have to be, so we plan to avoid the holi"day" and celebrate at another time. For us, we have "Pie Night" on the Wednesday evening before Thanksgiving and take the kids skiing on the day of Christmas Eve. We get to spend time with them and enjoy them and hopefully relieve the pressure they feel to visit another house on the "day".
2. Don't wait-do what you want to do. I've spent many a Christmas waiting for the festivities to begin when the kids or family or friends arrive. If you want to have a big breakfast, cook it. If you want to exchange presents with whomever is present at 5:00 a.m. on Christmas, exchange them. If you want to take a nap, snore away! (They'll wake you up when they arrive.)
3. Traditions can be evil. Take the Lamanites for example! Traditions are meant to be broken and created. If a tradition isn't working for you, eliminate it or change it! Everyone doesn't have to have a new pair of pajamas on Christmas Eve.
During my many single years, my friends and I created a few traditions to help us focus on the blessings we did have and not the ones we didn't. "Pretend Christmas Morning" started with my college roommates. Breakfast was eated and gifts exchanged in our pajamas! This tradition continued beyond college.
The New Year's Eve "Movie Marathon" was created after many years of waiting for a cute boy to ring in the New Year with me. The disappointment of having no one to kiss at midnight became too great and so...the movie marathon was born. Friends and I would start watching movies in the afternoon, take a break for dinner and make sure that we were in a dark theatre when the clock struck twelve.
4. Keep or find a sense of humor and perspective--a valuable tool for large gatherings of family and festivities. The one-sided Christmas trees are a favorite tale now in our family and would you rather have a broken ornament or a broken heart. I am always looking for the "story to tell." There is one every year.
Since I've lowered my expectations, Christmas seems to get better and better each year. And when I focus on the reason for the season, I'm never disappointed.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Mirror the Master
Candles--a part of Christmas traditions throughout the world. In Ireland, a lighted candle is placed in the window as an invitation to Mary and Joseph as they look for shelter. Martin Luther placed candles on the tree "to represent the beauty and glory of the stars above Bethlehem." Advent wreaths include a single white candle representing Christ as the "light of the world". Perhaps this year, candles may be a metaphor to help us learn how to faithfully mirror the life and teachings of our Savior.
Candles are a source of light. Christ is our source of light and truth. John 8:12 “…I am the light of the world…” Psalms 27:1 "The Lord is my light.." Isaiah 60:19 " for the Lord shall be thine everlasting light.." 1 Nephi 17:13 "I will also be your light in the wilderness..." 3 Nephi 9:18 "I am the light and life of the world." We make the decision from where to obtain light every day. We mirror the Master when we choose His Light to guide and direct our thoughts, actions, words and deeds.
Candles are made by adding one layer of wax at a time. As I attended the temple, I was reminded of how we add to our testimony, faith, desire, etc. We are taught in the temple that Jesus is thoroughly, completely and entirely obedient to our Heavenly Father.
In 2 Nephi 31:7, we are taught that he showed us and witnessed to the Father that he would be obedient in keeping his commandments. His entire life was dedicated to doing the will of the Father, even unto death, Matthew 26:39, “let this cup pass from me; nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”
We move from being simply a wick to a large candle by our obedience. Every time we obey any commandment, we add another layer of wax and our capacity to attract more wax increases.
We are immediately blessed for our obedience. King Benjamin teaches, "he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you." (Mosiah 2:24) What are a few blessings for being obedient?
· D&C 59:3 Good things of the earth
· D&C 64:34 Eat good of the land of Zion
· D&C 89:18 Receive health
· D&C 91:1 See the Lord’s face
· D&C 130:19 Knowledge and intelligence
· D&C 130:21 Specific blessings to commandments
· D&C 138:4 Salvation
· Moses 5:1 Eternal Life
Obedience is a habit and a routine and is the key to happiness. "I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness." (Mosiah 2:41)
You each deserve such happiness and the pure joy that comes from living the gospel completely. Several years ago, I witnessed that joy and its opposite sorrow as two former students delivered babies. One married in the temple a darling young man who shared her goals and desires. The other was not married and the boyfriend broke off the relationship soon after he learned of the pregnancy. What a stark contrast of emotions, challenges and hopes as those babies were born.
Candles give light and direction. "Behold I am the light; I have set an example for you." (3 Nephi 18:16) We mirror the Master when we burn brightly and “giveth light to all that are in the house, that they may see our good works and glorify our Father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16) The Mutual theme for 2009 is "Be thou an example of the believers in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12) Let's join the Young Men and Women in this quest and mirror the Savior's example.
As we celebrate the Savior's birth this season, may we allow "Christ [to] give thee light" (Ephesians 5:14), add another layer of wax as we keep His commandments more earnestly, and share His gift of happiness and eternal life with others as we mirror His life.
Candles are a source of light. Christ is our source of light and truth. John 8:12 “…I am the light of the world…” Psalms 27:1 "The Lord is my light.." Isaiah 60:19 " for the Lord shall be thine everlasting light.." 1 Nephi 17:13 "I will also be your light in the wilderness..." 3 Nephi 9:18 "I am the light and life of the world." We make the decision from where to obtain light every day. We mirror the Master when we choose His Light to guide and direct our thoughts, actions, words and deeds.
Candles are made by adding one layer of wax at a time. As I attended the temple, I was reminded of how we add to our testimony, faith, desire, etc. We are taught in the temple that Jesus is thoroughly, completely and entirely obedient to our Heavenly Father.
In 2 Nephi 31:7, we are taught that he showed us and witnessed to the Father that he would be obedient in keeping his commandments. His entire life was dedicated to doing the will of the Father, even unto death, Matthew 26:39, “let this cup pass from me; nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”
We move from being simply a wick to a large candle by our obedience. Every time we obey any commandment, we add another layer of wax and our capacity to attract more wax increases.
We are immediately blessed for our obedience. King Benjamin teaches, "he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you." (Mosiah 2:24) What are a few blessings for being obedient?
· D&C 59:3 Good things of the earth
· D&C 64:34 Eat good of the land of Zion
· D&C 89:18 Receive health
· D&C 91:1 See the Lord’s face
· D&C 130:19 Knowledge and intelligence
· D&C 130:21 Specific blessings to commandments
· D&C 138:4 Salvation
· Moses 5:1 Eternal Life
Obedience is a habit and a routine and is the key to happiness. "I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness." (Mosiah 2:41)
You each deserve such happiness and the pure joy that comes from living the gospel completely. Several years ago, I witnessed that joy and its opposite sorrow as two former students delivered babies. One married in the temple a darling young man who shared her goals and desires. The other was not married and the boyfriend broke off the relationship soon after he learned of the pregnancy. What a stark contrast of emotions, challenges and hopes as those babies were born.
Candles give light and direction. "Behold I am the light; I have set an example for you." (3 Nephi 18:16) We mirror the Master when we burn brightly and “giveth light to all that are in the house, that they may see our good works and glorify our Father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16) The Mutual theme for 2009 is "Be thou an example of the believers in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12) Let's join the Young Men and Women in this quest and mirror the Savior's example.
As we celebrate the Savior's birth this season, may we allow "Christ [to] give thee light" (Ephesians 5:14), add another layer of wax as we keep His commandments more earnestly, and share His gift of happiness and eternal life with others as we mirror His life.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Thanksgiving Everyday
A question and answer time was a part of a group activity at a rehabilitation center and the question focused on Thanksgiving celebrations. As the turn reached a certain woman, she replied that she was a Jehovah's Witness and didn't celebrate the holiday but made "Thanksgiving" part of everyday.
Do we make thanksgiving a part of everyday? Amulek counsels us to "live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you." (Alma 34:38)
Are you unhappy and unsatisfied with your life? Perhaps the key to becoming happy and satisfied lies in a grateful heart. In For the Strength of Youth it says, "Live with a spirit of thanksgiving and you will have greater happiness and satisifaction in life. Even in your most difficult times, you can find much to be grateful for. Doing so will strengthen and bless you."
How can we cultivate a life full of gratitude every day?
Pray. In the pattern of prayer set forth by the Lord, we are to thank Him before asking for blessings. Try dedicating one of your daily prayers to express only gratitude. "Pray unto him continually by day, and give thanks unto his holy name by night." (2 Nephi 9:52)
Write. Grab a pen and a notecard and send a note to someone who did something nice for you or you family each week. What about a gratitude journal? Both of these are great Sabbath day activity for the whole family.
Discuss. At dinner or before family prayer each night, ask each member of the family a question. It can be the same question each day or rotate them.
Friends with whom I have fun, learn new things and support me.
Good health.
A good job.
The gospel of Jesus Christ which has brought every good thing to my life.
I'd love to know what you are grateful for. Leave a comment with your list.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Do we make thanksgiving a part of everyday? Amulek counsels us to "live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you." (Alma 34:38)
Are you unhappy and unsatisfied with your life? Perhaps the key to becoming happy and satisfied lies in a grateful heart. In For the Strength of Youth it says, "Live with a spirit of thanksgiving and you will have greater happiness and satisifaction in life. Even in your most difficult times, you can find much to be grateful for. Doing so will strengthen and bless you."
How can we cultivate a life full of gratitude every day?
Pray. In the pattern of prayer set forth by the Lord, we are to thank Him before asking for blessings. Try dedicating one of your daily prayers to express only gratitude. "Pray unto him continually by day, and give thanks unto his holy name by night." (2 Nephi 9:52)
Write. Grab a pen and a notecard and send a note to someone who did something nice for you or you family each week. What about a gratitude journal? Both of these are great Sabbath day activity for the whole family.
Discuss. At dinner or before family prayer each night, ask each member of the family a question. It can be the same question each day or rotate them.
"What were you most grateful for today?"
"What blessings have been added to our 'blessing basket'?"
(Bonnie D. Parkin, "Gratitude: A Path to Happiness, Ensign, May 2007, 34-36)
Did God send a message that was just for me?"
or
"Did I see His hand in my life or the lives of my children?"
(Pres. Henry B. Eyring, "O Remember, Remember", Ensign, Nov. 2007, 66-69)
Serve. Remember a time when someone did something nice for you. How did you feel? Have you ever served someone and not felt better afterward? I think that might be impossible. Share that feeling and pass it along with a simple act of service.
What am I grateful for this season?
A wonderful husband who loves me despite my crankiness and his ability to do anything!
A beautiful daughter who brings so much joy, happiness and laughter.
Two amazing stepdaughters who rescue me from bad hair days and help their little sister learn to read.
Two gentlemen who treat my step-daughters with respect and great care.
Sisters and our lunches, late-night shopping trips, and good talks.
A wonderful mom and dad who love me, taught me how to work, and keep reminding me to mind my words.
Friends with whom I have fun, learn new things and support me.
Good health.
A good job.
The gospel of Jesus Christ which has brought every good thing to my life.
I'd love to know what you are grateful for. Leave a comment with your list.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Helping Our Children Recognize the Spirit of God
"What is a burning bosom?" I asked that question more than once as a teenager. Back in my day, Doctrine & Covenants 9: 8-9 was seemingly the only scripture used to teach someone how to recognize the Spirit of God.
During all my teenage years and a few beyond that, I really believed that I had never felt the Spirit. I recognized the "stupor of thought" part--frequently; but "your bosom shall burn within you"--it didn't. And being a painfully shy teenager who didn't want to be embarrassed, I didn't admit it or ask my parents or leaders questions about the manifestations of the Spirit.
Learning to recognize and heed the Spirit of God has become a lifelong quest. My desire to really know for myself turned me to the scriptures. I found many that described the manifestation of the Spirit in other ways. Some of my favorites are: D&C 6:14-15, 23; Alma 32:34; D&C 76:12; D&C 128:1 and Joseph Smith-History 1:12.
I made decisions in my formative years that have blessed my life and my family and have helped me to fulfill my own divine mission. I realize that because of my great desire to do good, the Lord blessed me even though I thought I didn't recognize his Spirit.
Our children however, must not wander on their own to find the power and influence of the Spirit "for Satan is abroad in the land" (D&C 52:14) and "Satan hath desired you, that he may sift the children of the kingdom as wheat." (JST Luke 22:31)
Teenagers are in an especially precarious position because they begin to question things they were taught in their youth when their friends increase in influence. How can we help our children recognize the Spirit?
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) Recently I purchased a clearance book-on-CD by Elder Gene R. Cook entitled "Raising Up a Family to the Lord". The big message to me was "Turn them to the Lord".
In the 2008 BYU Women's Conference, the Young Women General Presidency said, "Youth have questions, and they need to find the answers for themselves. The youth are really quite amazing. They like to discover and learn for themselves. They can go to the Internet or their cell phones for answers, but is that where they should be turning for spiritual answers? Elder Bednar reminds us we must never underestimate their spiritual capacity and spiritual hunger...They have questions. Heaven has answers. If we as mothers and leaders can facilitate an interaction of those two powerful facts, we will witness miracles."
So, how do we facilitate that
interaction and turn them to the Lord?
Study the scriptures. Specifically study those scriptures that reveal how the Spirit of God works. Preach My Gospel is an excellent resource to use with an entire section on recognizing the Spirit. Discuss with each child individually how the Spirit touches them. Explain what a "burning bosom" is and that it isn't always in your bosom. If that phrase is embarrassing to them, teach them other verses to describe those feelings that they can use instead.
Be the example. Do you turn to the Lord when you have questions? Does your daily life reflect your reliance on the Spirit? Do you have personal prayer and personal scripture study? Do you direct your family in family prayer, family scripture study, and family home evening?
Turn to the Lord with them. As they encounter questions, concerns or problems, go to the Lord with them. Several months ago after being split off from a ward and friends my 5 year-old loved, she announced on Sunday morning that she didn't want to go to church. All of our talk of nice Primary teachers and new friends did not convince her.
I ventured in to scary territory. I told her that if she really did not want to go and if she would pray to Heavenly Father and ask Him if it was alright for her to stay home, then she could do just that. With a prayer in my heart, we prayed and she told Heavenly Father how she felt and that she didn't want to go and wasn't going to go and was that okay with Him? Before she ended her prayer, tears were streaming down her face and she said she knew Heavenly Father wanted her to go. Then another prayer was said asking for help to like our new ward, her new Primary class and her new friends. And...she has not asked to stay home again.
Provide opportunities for them to turn to the Lord. Give your children opportunities to lead at home. Are they responsible for leading the family in family home evening, family scripture study, family prayer or other activities? Do you counsel with them on several possible topics for family home evening and/or scripture study and ask them to make a decision with guidance from the Spirit? When dad is out of town, does your deacon, teacher or priest feel the mantle of priesthood leadership on his shoulders?
Encourage children to fulfill assignments. Whether your child is to give a talk in Primary, serve as the Mia Maid president or complete the Duty to God requirements, turn them to the Lord in making decisions on what to speak on and how to say it; what activity to have and what purpose it fulfills; what Personal Progress value project to select. Those opportunities have been provided through these programs to give children, young men and young women another chance to feel the impressions of the Spirit.
Finally, a word of caution. Our loving Heavenly Father blesses us with two awesome gifts--our mind and our will. He expects us to use both. We need to and should turn to the Lord for help but He will not direct us in everything we do.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "[A person may have] a strong desire to be led by the Spirit of the Lord but...unwisely extends that desire to the point of wanting to be led in all things. A desire to be led by the Lord is a strength, but it needs to be accompanied by an understanding that our Heavenly Father leaves many decisions for our personal choices. Personal decision making is one of the sources of the growth we are meant to experience in mortality. Persons who try to shift all decision making to the Lord and plead for revelation in every choice will soon find circumstances in which they pray for guidance and don't receive it. For example, this is likely to occur in those numerous circumstances in which the choices are trivial or either choice is acceptable.
We should study things out in our minds, using the reasoning powers our Creator has placed within us. Then we should pray for guidance and act upon it if we receive it. If we do not receive guidance, we should act upon our best judgment. Persons who persist in seeking revelatory guidance on subjects on which the Lord has not chosen to direct us may concoct an answer out of their own fantasy or bias, or they may even receive an answer through the medium of false revelation." ("Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall," Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13-14)
I wasn't as far from hearing the voice of the Lord in my younger years as I thought. I did study things out and made my own decisions based on a "gut" feeling. As I've grown older, I've learned that my "gut" feeling, an "enlightened mind" and feelings that "occupy my mind" are impressions of the Spirit.
May we help our children learn and recognize these impressions early so they may have confidence in receiving revelation when their question, concern or problem deserves "a burning bosom" answer.
During all my teenage years and a few beyond that, I really believed that I had never felt the Spirit. I recognized the "stupor of thought" part--frequently; but "your bosom shall burn within you"--it didn't. And being a painfully shy teenager who didn't want to be embarrassed, I didn't admit it or ask my parents or leaders questions about the manifestations of the Spirit.
Learning to recognize and heed the Spirit of God has become a lifelong quest. My desire to really know for myself turned me to the scriptures. I found many that described the manifestation of the Spirit in other ways. Some of my favorites are: D&C 6:14-15, 23; Alma 32:34; D&C 76:12; D&C 128:1 and Joseph Smith-History 1:12.
I made decisions in my formative years that have blessed my life and my family and have helped me to fulfill my own divine mission. I realize that because of my great desire to do good, the Lord blessed me even though I thought I didn't recognize his Spirit.
Our children however, must not wander on their own to find the power and influence of the Spirit "for Satan is abroad in the land" (D&C 52:14) and "Satan hath desired you, that he may sift the children of the kingdom as wheat." (JST Luke 22:31)
Teenagers are in an especially precarious position because they begin to question things they were taught in their youth when their friends increase in influence. How can we help our children recognize the Spirit?
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) Recently I purchased a clearance book-on-CD by Elder Gene R. Cook entitled "Raising Up a Family to the Lord". The big message to me was "Turn them to the Lord".
In the 2008 BYU Women's Conference, the Young Women General Presidency said, "Youth have questions, and they need to find the answers for themselves. The youth are really quite amazing. They like to discover and learn for themselves. They can go to the Internet or their cell phones for answers, but is that where they should be turning for spiritual answers? Elder Bednar reminds us we must never underestimate their spiritual capacity and spiritual hunger...They have questions. Heaven has answers. If we as mothers and leaders can facilitate an interaction of those two powerful facts, we will witness miracles."
So, how do we facilitate that
interaction and turn them to the Lord?Study the scriptures. Specifically study those scriptures that reveal how the Spirit of God works. Preach My Gospel is an excellent resource to use with an entire section on recognizing the Spirit. Discuss with each child individually how the Spirit touches them. Explain what a "burning bosom" is and that it isn't always in your bosom. If that phrase is embarrassing to them, teach them other verses to describe those feelings that they can use instead.
Be the example. Do you turn to the Lord when you have questions? Does your daily life reflect your reliance on the Spirit? Do you have personal prayer and personal scripture study? Do you direct your family in family prayer, family scripture study, and family home evening?
Turn to the Lord with them. As they encounter questions, concerns or problems, go to the Lord with them. Several months ago after being split off from a ward and friends my 5 year-old loved, she announced on Sunday morning that she didn't want to go to church. All of our talk of nice Primary teachers and new friends did not convince her.
I ventured in to scary territory. I told her that if she really did not want to go and if she would pray to Heavenly Father and ask Him if it was alright for her to stay home, then she could do just that. With a prayer in my heart, we prayed and she told Heavenly Father how she felt and that she didn't want to go and wasn't going to go and was that okay with Him? Before she ended her prayer, tears were streaming down her face and she said she knew Heavenly Father wanted her to go. Then another prayer was said asking for help to like our new ward, her new Primary class and her new friends. And...she has not asked to stay home again.
Provide opportunities for them to turn to the Lord. Give your children opportunities to lead at home. Are they responsible for leading the family in family home evening, family scripture study, family prayer or other activities? Do you counsel with them on several possible topics for family home evening and/or scripture study and ask them to make a decision with guidance from the Spirit? When dad is out of town, does your deacon, teacher or priest feel the mantle of priesthood leadership on his shoulders?
Encourage children to fulfill assignments. Whether your child is to give a talk in Primary, serve as the Mia Maid president or complete the Duty to God requirements, turn them to the Lord in making decisions on what to speak on and how to say it; what activity to have and what purpose it fulfills; what Personal Progress value project to select. Those opportunities have been provided through these programs to give children, young men and young women another chance to feel the impressions of the Spirit.
Finally, a word of caution. Our loving Heavenly Father blesses us with two awesome gifts--our mind and our will. He expects us to use both. We need to and should turn to the Lord for help but He will not direct us in everything we do.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "[A person may have] a strong desire to be led by the Spirit of the Lord but...unwisely extends that desire to the point of wanting to be led in all things. A desire to be led by the Lord is a strength, but it needs to be accompanied by an understanding that our Heavenly Father leaves many decisions for our personal choices. Personal decision making is one of the sources of the growth we are meant to experience in mortality. Persons who try to shift all decision making to the Lord and plead for revelation in every choice will soon find circumstances in which they pray for guidance and don't receive it. For example, this is likely to occur in those numerous circumstances in which the choices are trivial or either choice is acceptable.
We should study things out in our minds, using the reasoning powers our Creator has placed within us. Then we should pray for guidance and act upon it if we receive it. If we do not receive guidance, we should act upon our best judgment. Persons who persist in seeking revelatory guidance on subjects on which the Lord has not chosen to direct us may concoct an answer out of their own fantasy or bias, or they may even receive an answer through the medium of false revelation." ("Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall," Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13-14)
I wasn't as far from hearing the voice of the Lord in my younger years as I thought. I did study things out and made my own decisions based on a "gut" feeling. As I've grown older, I've learned that my "gut" feeling, an "enlightened mind" and feelings that "occupy my mind" are impressions of the Spirit.
May we help our children learn and recognize these impressions early so they may have confidence in receiving revelation when their question, concern or problem deserves "a burning bosom" answer.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Change: To Us and In Us
Over 211,000 women and 1,700 men are diagnosed with breast cancer each year. That would be approximately the entire population of the city of Scottsdale, Arizona. Unfortunately most of us have been affected by the disease through a diagnosis of a mother, sister, aunt, daughter or friend.
My Aunt Debi lost her battle to cancer two years ago. One of my daughter's most vivid memories is that of curling up on the couch with Aunt Debi and watching "Snow White". That was two weeks before Aunt Debi passed away from breast cancer. As I have reflected on that experience and wondered why it was so impressionable to a three-year old, I realized Chloe felt what all of us who knew Aunt Debi also felt: her love, kindness, and the fact that her world stopped to focus solely on you. When you arrived, she planned a party and you were the "guest of honor. "
Most impressive to me was the way Aunt Debi reacted to the diagnosis, treatment and their subsequent challenges. She never gave up and had a positive attitude. Her strength and eternal perspective are reflected in a sacrament meeting talk she gave only a few weeks before she died. As a tribute to her and all others who have or are living through cancer, may her address give you hope, peace and comfort.
"My remarks today will focus on a single word. Change. But I would like to take the word in a couple of directions. First, the word change as it relates to something that happens to us, and second, the word change as it relates to something that happens in us.
Emily Perl Kingsely cared for her little child who was limited from birth in what he was able to. She wrote "Welcome to Holland."
'I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared the unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this:
When you are going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. Michelangelo’s “David.” The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes and says, “Welcome to Holland.” “Holland?” you say. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plans. They’ve landed in Holland, and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. You must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy.
But after you’ve been there awhile and you catch your breath, you look around and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.'
Nothing is so unchanging, so inevitable as change itself. The things we see, touch and feel are always changing. Relationships between friends, husband and wife, father and son, brother and sister are all dynamic, changing relationships. And change can be hard. Change can be rough. I think we sometimes have a tendency to think of change as the enemy and we fight and resist it before we have even discovered what the actual effects of change will be.
Recently, we replaced some carpet in our home. I had brought home a sample and showed it to my husband and that sample sat in the room for over a month. A couple of weeks ago the carpet was laid and as Kirk walked in, I asked "What do you think?" No response. Then finally, "it's different." Now I've know this man a long time and I knew better than to be offended because I knew what he was really saying, "It's not the same as the old carpet. It's not as familiar as the old carpet. I sort of liked the old carpet. It's different."
C.S. Lewis indicated that there is often pain involved in change when he wrote of God's expectation for His children. "Imagine yourself living in a house you love. Then God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on. You knew those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of-throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage, but He is building a palace."
Yes, there is sometimes pain in change, but there can also be great satisfaction in recognizing that progress is being achieved. Life is a series of hills and valleys and changes and often the best growth comes in the valleys.
It's like the amateur gardener who, when a choice plant became root-bound and began to deteriorate, decided to transplant it into a larger container. Carefully, he lifted the greenery from its small pot and put it into a larger home, trying to disturb the roots and soil as little as possible. And then he watched and waited. To his dismay, the plant still struggled. The amateur expressed his frustration to a more experienced friend who offered his services. When the plant was placed in this man's hands, he turned the pot upside down, pulled out the plant, shook the soil from the roots, and clipped and pulled all the stragglers from the root system. Replacing the plant in the pot, he vigorously pushed the soil tightly around the plant. Soon, the plant took on new life and grew.
How often do we set our own roots into the soil of life and become root-bound? We treat ourselves too gently and defy anyone to disturb the soil or trim back our root system. Under these conditions we too must struggle to make progress. Change is hard. Change can be rough. Change is something that happens not to us but in us.
You know from the Charles Dickens' novel "A Christmas Carol" that Ebenezer Scrooge is a really nasty character who hates everyone and everything except money and who is especially horrible to his employee Bob Crachett. Scrooge eventually gets the unique opportunity to see what the future will bring if he doesn't change his ways. Of course in the end, he does change and ultimately we find that Scrooge has become a much better person, a whole new person really.
The scriptures have a phrase for what happens to people who alter their lives to better serve the Lord. It is called a "change of heart". That kind of change encompasses a person's entire life-thoughts, feelings, desires, actions-literally everything.
If I had a favorite book in the Book of Mormon, it might be the Book of Mosiah where King Benjamin, knowing he is going to die soon, teaches and admonishes his people with words so powerful that every person who hears it experiences an amazing transformation.
Change happens to all of us and then, if we allow it, change happens in us.
The final words of Ebenezer Scrooge on the last page of the book are: "And Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man as the good old city knew, or any other city or town in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the change in him, but he let them laugh. His own heart laughed; and that was quite enough for him."
About a year ago, I had a plan. I had my map and the directions I thought I would need to get to my destination. I was on a schedule. But three months later, I found myself smack dab in the middle of Holland instead of Italy where I had planned to go. I was sure that there was some huge mistake, because I really was supposed to go to Italy, and I most certainly did not want to be in Holland. But now, thirteen months later, I can honestly tell you that I am enjoying the trip to Holland more than I would ever have believed. It's a different journey than I had planned. I'm seeing new sights. I'm out of my comfort zone. My roots have been shaken and pulled and trimmed and repotted. I also know that there are many who have traveled this road before me and I take great comfort and strength from their courage and encouragement.
How thankful I am for the gospel, for the testimony I have of its truthfulness. I am so thankful for the things which don't change, the answers which stay the same day after day, year after year, lifetime after lifetime. I am especially thankful for our Savior, Jesus Christ, for the redeeming power of His Atonement and for His unconditional, constant and unchanging love for each of us.
The old saying that "change is progress" has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I understand more fully than ever before that repentance is change; conversion is change; perfecting change. I have also come to realize that change is in complete harmony with the desires of my Heavenly Father and that in His plan I am always free to choose how I will respond to the changes that happen to me and eternally free to allow change to happen in me. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Helpful Resources:
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/wyntk/breast
http://www.breastcancer.org/
http://cms.komen.org/komen/index.htm
My Aunt Debi lost her battle to cancer two years ago. One of my daughter's most vivid memories is that of curling up on the couch with Aunt Debi and watching "Snow White". That was two weeks before Aunt Debi passed away from breast cancer. As I have reflected on that experience and wondered why it was so impressionable to a three-year old, I realized Chloe felt what all of us who knew Aunt Debi also felt: her love, kindness, and the fact that her world stopped to focus solely on you. When you arrived, she planned a party and you were the "guest of honor. "
Most impressive to me was the way Aunt Debi reacted to the diagnosis, treatment and their subsequent challenges. She never gave up and had a positive attitude. Her strength and eternal perspective are reflected in a sacrament meeting talk she gave only a few weeks before she died. As a tribute to her and all others who have or are living through cancer, may her address give you hope, peace and comfort.
"My remarks today will focus on a single word. Change. But I would like to take the word in a couple of directions. First, the word change as it relates to something that happens to us, and second, the word change as it relates to something that happens in us.
Emily Perl Kingsely cared for her little child who was limited from birth in what he was able to. She wrote "Welcome to Holland."
'I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared the unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this:
When you are going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. Michelangelo’s “David.” The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes and says, “Welcome to Holland.” “Holland?” you say. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plans. They’ve landed in Holland, and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. You must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy.
But after you’ve been there awhile and you catch your breath, you look around and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.'
Nothing is so unchanging, so inevitable as change itself. The things we see, touch and feel are always changing. Relationships between friends, husband and wife, father and son, brother and sister are all dynamic, changing relationships. And change can be hard. Change can be rough. I think we sometimes have a tendency to think of change as the enemy and we fight and resist it before we have even discovered what the actual effects of change will be.
Recently, we replaced some carpet in our home. I had brought home a sample and showed it to my husband and that sample sat in the room for over a month. A couple of weeks ago the carpet was laid and as Kirk walked in, I asked "What do you think?" No response. Then finally, "it's different." Now I've know this man a long time and I knew better than to be offended because I knew what he was really saying, "It's not the same as the old carpet. It's not as familiar as the old carpet. I sort of liked the old carpet. It's different."
C.S. Lewis indicated that there is often pain involved in change when he wrote of God's expectation for His children. "Imagine yourself living in a house you love. Then God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on. You knew those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of-throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage, but He is building a palace."
Yes, there is sometimes pain in change, but there can also be great satisfaction in recognizing that progress is being achieved. Life is a series of hills and valleys and changes and often the best growth comes in the valleys.
It's like the amateur gardener who, when a choice plant became root-bound and began to deteriorate, decided to transplant it into a larger container. Carefully, he lifted the greenery from its small pot and put it into a larger home, trying to disturb the roots and soil as little as possible. And then he watched and waited. To his dismay, the plant still struggled. The amateur expressed his frustration to a more experienced friend who offered his services. When the plant was placed in this man's hands, he turned the pot upside down, pulled out the plant, shook the soil from the roots, and clipped and pulled all the stragglers from the root system. Replacing the plant in the pot, he vigorously pushed the soil tightly around the plant. Soon, the plant took on new life and grew.
How often do we set our own roots into the soil of life and become root-bound? We treat ourselves too gently and defy anyone to disturb the soil or trim back our root system. Under these conditions we too must struggle to make progress. Change is hard. Change can be rough. Change is something that happens not to us but in us.
You know from the Charles Dickens' novel "A Christmas Carol" that Ebenezer Scrooge is a really nasty character who hates everyone and everything except money and who is especially horrible to his employee Bob Crachett. Scrooge eventually gets the unique opportunity to see what the future will bring if he doesn't change his ways. Of course in the end, he does change and ultimately we find that Scrooge has become a much better person, a whole new person really.
The scriptures have a phrase for what happens to people who alter their lives to better serve the Lord. It is called a "change of heart". That kind of change encompasses a person's entire life-thoughts, feelings, desires, actions-literally everything.
If I had a favorite book in the Book of Mormon, it might be the Book of Mosiah where King Benjamin, knowing he is going to die soon, teaches and admonishes his people with words so powerful that every person who hears it experiences an amazing transformation.
Change happens to all of us and then, if we allow it, change happens in us.
The final words of Ebenezer Scrooge on the last page of the book are: "And Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man as the good old city knew, or any other city or town in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the change in him, but he let them laugh. His own heart laughed; and that was quite enough for him."
About a year ago, I had a plan. I had my map and the directions I thought I would need to get to my destination. I was on a schedule. But three months later, I found myself smack dab in the middle of Holland instead of Italy where I had planned to go. I was sure that there was some huge mistake, because I really was supposed to go to Italy, and I most certainly did not want to be in Holland. But now, thirteen months later, I can honestly tell you that I am enjoying the trip to Holland more than I would ever have believed. It's a different journey than I had planned. I'm seeing new sights. I'm out of my comfort zone. My roots have been shaken and pulled and trimmed and repotted. I also know that there are many who have traveled this road before me and I take great comfort and strength from their courage and encouragement.
How thankful I am for the gospel, for the testimony I have of its truthfulness. I am so thankful for the things which don't change, the answers which stay the same day after day, year after year, lifetime after lifetime. I am especially thankful for our Savior, Jesus Christ, for the redeeming power of His Atonement and for His unconditional, constant and unchanging love for each of us.
The old saying that "change is progress" has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I understand more fully than ever before that repentance is change; conversion is change; perfecting change. I have also come to realize that change is in complete harmony with the desires of my Heavenly Father and that in His plan I am always free to choose how I will respond to the changes that happen to me and eternally free to allow change to happen in me. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Helpful Resources:
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/wyntk/breast
http://www.breastcancer.org/
http://cms.komen.org/komen/index.htm
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
First-year Teachers
The school posts the class assignments for the upcoming school year and as you search the lists for your child's name, you realize he has been assigned the new teacher, and worse yet-a first-year teacher.
I've often said that if I had to relive my first year of teaching I would select a different career. The joy of teaching was often overshadowed by the hours of preparation, mountains of papers, lack of support from parents and clerical tasks.
We are all lifelong learners and no one is a finished project. Even master teachers continue to learn and develop and are never really "finished". Sadly, when a teacher thinks they are "finished", their effectiveness usually is.
First-year teachers are great for many reasons. They are full of energy and ideas. They are optimistic and see endless potential in their students and themselves. Really, the only thing they lack is experience and now you have become part of that experience with them and for them. How can you support a first-year teacher? Suzanne Cottrell, a friend and former teacher induction specialist, suggests the following:
I've often said that if I had to relive my first year of teaching I would select a different career. The joy of teaching was often overshadowed by the hours of preparation, mountains of papers, lack of support from parents and clerical tasks.
We are all lifelong learners and no one is a finished project. Even master teachers continue to learn and develop and are never really "finished". Sadly, when a teacher thinks they are "finished", their effectiveness usually is.
First-year teachers are great for many reasons. They are full of energy and ideas. They are optimistic and see endless potential in their students and themselves. Really, the only thing they lack is experience and now you have become part of that experience with them and for them. How can you support a first-year teacher? Suzanne Cottrell, a friend and former teacher induction specialist, suggests the following:
- They are professionals. They have been trained and successfully achieved both content and pedagological exams in order to teach your children. Trust in them. "Refrain from assuming the worst about first-year teachers." (http://www.ed.gov/)
- Be supportive of the teacher at home. Always talk positively about him with your student. You may not always agree with a teacher and his methods but talking negatively about the teacher with the student or while the student is listening will only foster a negative attitude in the student. Students should be happy and comfortable in the school setting and parents play an important role in their student's feeling of safety in the classroom.
- Teach your student responsibility and organization. Organizational items can eat up a teacher's valuable preparation time. Teachers prefer to spend time on preparing to teach and teaching rather than figuring out which students don't have lunch money, missing library books and field trip permission slips. Return homework and other items on time, when requested, and completed accurately. Late work, late anything is the bain of a teacher's existence. It takes twice as much work to handle a late assignment as one turned in on time!
- Share important information about your student with the teacher. One mother was frustrated with her son's first-year teacher because she struggled assigning him level-appropriate readers. Give the teacher information about what your student's strengths and weaknesses are. Some primary grade classes have 30 students and secondary schools 35+. Parents have a responsibility to keep teachers informed about changes that may affect a student's performance at school.
- Volunteer to help in specific ways. New teachers are not often adept at using volunteers effectively. Vounteer to be responsible for bulletin boards, field trips, working with struggling students, assembling classroom materials, publishing a weekly newsletter. What do you enjoy doing? Combine your talents and look for the need.
- Talk to the teacher first about problems. Nothing is more frustrating than to have the principal request you to call or meet with a parent who didn't talk to you first. The teacher is your partner in your student's education. Open lines of communication are a must.
In Doctrine & Covenants 88:78 it reads, "Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend thee, that you may be intstructed more perfectly." Pray for your first-year teacher that he will teach diligently for if he does, God's grace will attend and he will be instructed more perfectly. On many occasions in public school and in church settings, I have been instructed more perfectly on how to reach, teach and help individual students or teach a specific concept or accomplish seemingly insurmountable tasks. Thank you to all the parents who believed in me, supported me, volunteered in my class, and prayed for me as I taught-especially my first year.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
At Ease in Zion
When I taught French, I took several student groups to Europe. From the experience of others and that of my own, I had a few rules students and chaperones were asked to follow as we traveled. Two of the most important were:
1. Carry your money and your passport on your body at all times, even while sleeping!
2. Never leave doors or windows open or propped open at hotels.
In 1996, I departed with a great group of students and advisors for a 15-day trip to London, Paris and Rome. After 5 marvelous days exploring London, we rode the Chunnel to Paris and during our first night there, I met one of my former host families for dinner. That morning as I arose I didn't feel quite right but brushed it off. It wasn't until we were on the Metro that the full impact of the dinner the night before made itself known.
For the next four days, I toured my Parisian hotel, traveling from my bed to the bathroom. By our last night in Paris, I was sick of being sick. It was unseasonably warm and I was sweaty, sticky and hot! Throwing caution to the wind, I unstrapped my money belt, took off my passport holder, threw open the windows hoping for a breeze and promptly fell asleep.
I awoke the next morning feeling much better. My fever had broken and I had slept well. We would check out of the hotel and travel by overnight train to Italy. I showered, dressed and went to put on my watch, earrings and necklace-but where was my little travel jewelry case? and my purse? and my eyeglass case? and my MONEY! and my PASSPORT!
I woke my roommate and together we searched the entire room, finding nothing. Opening the door to go to the front desk revealed my empty purse and eyeglass case. Obviously, a thief had visited me in the night and had taken my things of value and discarded the rest.
Instead of spending my final day in Paris visiting the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre or Les Champs Elysee, I toured the American Embassy and the American Express office for a new passport and new traveler's checks.
How did I let this happen to me? Why did I break my own rules?
I felt comfortable in Paris. I had traveled there and lived there several times. I disobeyed the rules-my rules-because I felt secure and didn't feel well.
Isn't this a favorite temptation of Satan?
"And others will he pacify and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: all is well in Zion; yea Zion prospereth, all is well-and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell." 2 Nephi 28:21
How many times have we rationalized personal prayers, family scripture study, family home evening, tithing, food storage because we felt "secure" or "comfortable"?
Perhaps it is when we feel secure or comfortable that we should be the most worried. What if our "trial" is not one of poor health, addiction, wayward children, financial instability or abusive relationships but one, instead, of security?
How might we avoid the inevitable "cheating of our souls" and "leading away carefully down to hell"?
1. Carry your money and your passport on your body at all times, even while sleeping!
2. Never leave doors or windows open or propped open at hotels.
In 1996, I departed with a great group of students and advisors for a 15-day trip to London, Paris and Rome. After 5 marvelous days exploring London, we rode the Chunnel to Paris and during our first night there, I met one of my former host families for dinner. That morning as I arose I didn't feel quite right but brushed it off. It wasn't until we were on the Metro that the full impact of the dinner the night before made itself known.
For the next four days, I toured my Parisian hotel, traveling from my bed to the bathroom. By our last night in Paris, I was sick of being sick. It was unseasonably warm and I was sweaty, sticky and hot! Throwing caution to the wind, I unstrapped my money belt, took off my passport holder, threw open the windows hoping for a breeze and promptly fell asleep.
I awoke the next morning feeling much better. My fever had broken and I had slept well. We would check out of the hotel and travel by overnight train to Italy. I showered, dressed and went to put on my watch, earrings and necklace-but where was my little travel jewelry case? and my purse? and my eyeglass case? and my MONEY! and my PASSPORT!
I woke my roommate and together we searched the entire room, finding nothing. Opening the door to go to the front desk revealed my empty purse and eyeglass case. Obviously, a thief had visited me in the night and had taken my things of value and discarded the rest.
Instead of spending my final day in Paris visiting the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre or Les Champs Elysee, I toured the American Embassy and the American Express office for a new passport and new traveler's checks.
How did I let this happen to me? Why did I break my own rules?
I felt comfortable in Paris. I had traveled there and lived there several times. I disobeyed the rules-my rules-because I felt secure and didn't feel well.
Isn't this a favorite temptation of Satan?
"And others will he pacify and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: all is well in Zion; yea Zion prospereth, all is well-and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell." 2 Nephi 28:21
How many times have we rationalized personal prayers, family scripture study, family home evening, tithing, food storage because we felt "secure" or "comfortable"?
Perhaps it is when we feel secure or comfortable that we should be the most worried. What if our "trial" is not one of poor health, addiction, wayward children, financial instability or abusive relationships but one, instead, of security?
How might we avoid the inevitable "cheating of our souls" and "leading away carefully down to hell"?
- Keep an eternal perspective. Knowing where we ultimately want to be will help us make choices daily that will get us there. "Choose you this day whom ye will serve; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)
- Remember line upon line; precept upon precept. We will not have a perfect family home evening every time but as we try and succeed and try and fail, we will learn and grow together.
- Energize personal scripture study, especially the Book of Mormon. Are we simply reading the scriptures or are we studying them? Do we need to enliven our scripture study? Study the scriptures in conjunction with "Preach My Gospel", "Young Women Personal Progress", "Faith in God" or the "Addiction Recovery Program."
- Pray with real intent. As we pray with real intent, we invite the Holy Ghost to teach us truth. Heavenly Father will instruct us in our "security" and we will know what we must personally do to remain steadfast and immovable.
Although I had lulled myself into security, I was quick to realize my mistakes and repent. The Lord showered his tender mercies upon me. After a long day, I boarded a night train to Italy with a new passport (with a great picture!), new traveler's checks and my students!
"Therefore, blessed are they who will repent and hearken unto the voice of the Lord their God; for these are they that shall be saved." Helaman 12:23.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Scholarship Applications
Warm days, cool nights, crunchy leaves. Autumn. The season of apples, pumpkins, football games and...scholarship hunting. Now is the time to look for and apply for scholarships whether a junior or senior in high school or a non-traditional student looking to enroll in college.
If you need information on different ways to pay for a college education, see "Scholarships and Financial Aid" in my 2007 blog file.
Once you've found the scholarships you are interested in and qualify for, apply! But there is more to your application than simply filling in the blanks. Here are some tips for an application that merits a review and may garner the award.
1. Fill out the application completely,leaving no blank spaces, and preferably typed not handwritten.
2. Use correct spelling and proper grammar.
At the acknowledgment of either a missing section or incorrect spelling, the reviewers generally put the application in the rejected pile.
3. Follow the directions. For example, if the application requests that you put N/A to questions that do not apply to you, write in N/A. Do not leave it blank!
4. Avoid writing long lists of accomplishments, service and awards. List only those from the last three years.
5. Quantify and qualify service or volunteer work. Students who are LDS perform a lot of service and much of it comes from opportunities during Mutual. Be specific and keep track of the number of hours you rake leaves, sing at nursing homes, babysit, etc. For example: 15 hours of yard work in community.
6. Find a way to let your personality and who you really are stand out. This is the most difficult part of the application. Most of the students applying for scholarships are very similar to you! They have GPAs, ACT, and SAT scores that are the same or better than yours. They have participated in extracurricular activities, worked at part-time jobs, and served in the community.
So-how do you set yourself apart from the others? In a recent scholarship competition I read one application where the student listed that he was president of the Beards and Jenga Club at his high school. This student was already on the list to be interviewed from our initial review of the applications but that response piqued an additional interest.
The board interviewed this student and awarded him one of the scholarships. He created the interest on his application and then continued to inspire us in the interview by sharing things about his education, his school participation in extracurricular activities, his service in the community and himself (his interests and his family) that were not listed on his application or on his resume. (Note: The Beards and Jenga Club was open to all students who couldn't grow a beard and enjoyed playing Jenga.)
My nephew tried this in a recent job application for a lab assistant. One of his accomplishments was that he had never burned off his eyebrows or eyelashes. Now I don't know if that statement is the one that got him the interview, but he did get an interview and eventually the job.
7. Be honest. This is the most important part of the application process. Lies and deceit will always be found out and will cost you more in "peace of mind and self-respect" (For the Strength of Youth, p.31) than the amount of the scholarship award you might receive.
Good luck during this fall's scholarship hunting season. Go ahead and wear your orange hunting vest if you'd like.
If you need information on different ways to pay for a college education, see "Scholarships and Financial Aid" in my 2007 blog file.
Once you've found the scholarships you are interested in and qualify for, apply! But there is more to your application than simply filling in the blanks. Here are some tips for an application that merits a review and may garner the award.
1. Fill out the application completely,leaving no blank spaces, and preferably typed not handwritten.
2. Use correct spelling and proper grammar.
At the acknowledgment of either a missing section or incorrect spelling, the reviewers generally put the application in the rejected pile.
3. Follow the directions. For example, if the application requests that you put N/A to questions that do not apply to you, write in N/A. Do not leave it blank!
4. Avoid writing long lists of accomplishments, service and awards. List only those from the last three years.
5. Quantify and qualify service or volunteer work. Students who are LDS perform a lot of service and much of it comes from opportunities during Mutual. Be specific and keep track of the number of hours you rake leaves, sing at nursing homes, babysit, etc. For example: 15 hours of yard work in community.
6. Find a way to let your personality and who you really are stand out. This is the most difficult part of the application. Most of the students applying for scholarships are very similar to you! They have GPAs, ACT, and SAT scores that are the same or better than yours. They have participated in extracurricular activities, worked at part-time jobs, and served in the community.
So-how do you set yourself apart from the others? In a recent scholarship competition I read one application where the student listed that he was president of the Beards and Jenga Club at his high school. This student was already on the list to be interviewed from our initial review of the applications but that response piqued an additional interest.
The board interviewed this student and awarded him one of the scholarships. He created the interest on his application and then continued to inspire us in the interview by sharing things about his education, his school participation in extracurricular activities, his service in the community and himself (his interests and his family) that were not listed on his application or on his resume. (Note: The Beards and Jenga Club was open to all students who couldn't grow a beard and enjoyed playing Jenga.)
My nephew tried this in a recent job application for a lab assistant. One of his accomplishments was that he had never burned off his eyebrows or eyelashes. Now I don't know if that statement is the one that got him the interview, but he did get an interview and eventually the job.
7. Be honest. This is the most important part of the application process. Lies and deceit will always be found out and will cost you more in "peace of mind and self-respect" (For the Strength of Youth, p.31) than the amount of the scholarship award you might receive.
Good luck during this fall's scholarship hunting season. Go ahead and wear your orange hunting vest if you'd like.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Increase Your Flocks
My parents always spoke of college in terms of "when you go" not "if you go" but the day I actually left for college was one for the record books. We left our home and after only 6 miles I started to cry. I cried during the remaining 100 miles and then cried some more when my family left me at my dorm.
I had planned and saved for years and it wasn't that I didn't want to go, I was simply scared of being away from my family and scared of all the big unknowns: Will I be able to find my way around campus? Will I be able to pass my courses? Who are my roommates and will they like me? Will I have any friends?
These are questions that students ask whether they are entering kindergarten or college. In time, students will know the campus, will know what they must do to pass the courses and will make friends, easily or painfully.
How can we help our children start the school year well, regardless of how old they are or the number of years they have attended school?
Amulek taught, "Cry unto his holy name, that he would have mercy upon you...Cry unto him when ye are in your fields, yea, over all your flocks...Cry unto him over the crops of your fields, that ye may prosper in them...Cry over the flocks of your fields, that they may increase." (Alma 34:17, 20, 23, 24)
All things are spiritual to the Lord (D&C 29:34) and He cares about our children's school work and friendships. In fact, many of the struggles our children face may have been designed to bring about the Lord's purposes.
We (both parents and children) need to cry unto Him about school and coursework that our children may prosper in them.
Once my father purchased a very expensive bull that became very ill. Mom and Dad were quite upset thinking this bull would die. When Mom mentioned to a friend the plight of this bull, she told my mom to pray for the bull. When Mom questioned the appropriateness of a prayer for a bull, her friend quoted Alma. Wasn't this bull a part of our field and flocks? So-humbled we prayed, and the bull lived.
We need to pray in regard to our friends that they may increase. "Increase" is an interesting word. Webster's Dictionary defines increase as "to make or become greater, as in number, size or quality." Sometimes we need more (the number of) friends; sometimes we need better (quality) friends.
For the Strength of Youth states, "Choose your friends carefully. They will greatly influence how you think and act, and even help determine the person you will become. Choose friends who share your values so you can strengthen and encourage each other in living high standards. A true friend will encourage you to be your best self.
To have good friends, be a good friend yourself. Show interest in others and let them know you care about them. Treat everyone with kindness and respect. Go out of your way to be a friend to those who are shy or do not feel included." (p.12)
After a few weeks at college, I realized that no one there knew that I was the nerd from my local high school. I decided that I could reinvent myself and become the person I wanted to be. I wanted to be friendly, outgoing and confident instead of shy, introverted and afraid of my own shadow but that meant I had to say hello to people, start conversations with people I did not know and participate in school and ward functions. It was hard but became easier the more I did it.
Elder David A. Bednar reminds us, "Meaningful prayer requires both holy communion and consecrated work...We press forward and persevere in the consecrated work of prayer, after we say "amen", by acting upon the things we have expressed to Heavenly Father."
Consecrated work in fields and flocks may be difficult. A prospering field of school may require hours of study and labor and increasing friend flocks may demand a departure from friends who do not lift and encourage. Neither is easy and both involve sacrifice.
"Be willing to work diligently and make sacrifices to obtain learning." (For the Strength of Youth, p. 9) One of my life's greatest joys is my college education. I prospered in my fields and increased my flocks there, and that prosperity and increase has continued to "help me be an influence for good in the world, and...open the doors of opportunity" to me and my family. (p. 9)
I had planned and saved for years and it wasn't that I didn't want to go, I was simply scared of being away from my family and scared of all the big unknowns: Will I be able to find my way around campus? Will I be able to pass my courses? Who are my roommates and will they like me? Will I have any friends?
These are questions that students ask whether they are entering kindergarten or college. In time, students will know the campus, will know what they must do to pass the courses and will make friends, easily or painfully.
How can we help our children start the school year well, regardless of how old they are or the number of years they have attended school?
Amulek taught, "Cry unto his holy name, that he would have mercy upon you...Cry unto him when ye are in your fields, yea, over all your flocks...Cry unto him over the crops of your fields, that ye may prosper in them...Cry over the flocks of your fields, that they may increase." (Alma 34:17, 20, 23, 24)
All things are spiritual to the Lord (D&C 29:34) and He cares about our children's school work and friendships. In fact, many of the struggles our children face may have been designed to bring about the Lord's purposes.
We (both parents and children) need to cry unto Him about school and coursework that our children may prosper in them.
Once my father purchased a very expensive bull that became very ill. Mom and Dad were quite upset thinking this bull would die. When Mom mentioned to a friend the plight of this bull, she told my mom to pray for the bull. When Mom questioned the appropriateness of a prayer for a bull, her friend quoted Alma. Wasn't this bull a part of our field and flocks? So-humbled we prayed, and the bull lived.
We need to pray in regard to our friends that they may increase. "Increase" is an interesting word. Webster's Dictionary defines increase as "to make or become greater, as in number, size or quality." Sometimes we need more (the number of) friends; sometimes we need better (quality) friends.
For the Strength of Youth states, "Choose your friends carefully. They will greatly influence how you think and act, and even help determine the person you will become. Choose friends who share your values so you can strengthen and encourage each other in living high standards. A true friend will encourage you to be your best self.
To have good friends, be a good friend yourself. Show interest in others and let them know you care about them. Treat everyone with kindness and respect. Go out of your way to be a friend to those who are shy or do not feel included." (p.12)
After a few weeks at college, I realized that no one there knew that I was the nerd from my local high school. I decided that I could reinvent myself and become the person I wanted to be. I wanted to be friendly, outgoing and confident instead of shy, introverted and afraid of my own shadow but that meant I had to say hello to people, start conversations with people I did not know and participate in school and ward functions. It was hard but became easier the more I did it.
Elder David A. Bednar reminds us, "Meaningful prayer requires both holy communion and consecrated work...We press forward and persevere in the consecrated work of prayer, after we say "amen", by acting upon the things we have expressed to Heavenly Father."
Consecrated work in fields and flocks may be difficult. A prospering field of school may require hours of study and labor and increasing friend flocks may demand a departure from friends who do not lift and encourage. Neither is easy and both involve sacrifice.
"Be willing to work diligently and make sacrifices to obtain learning." (For the Strength of Youth, p. 9) One of my life's greatest joys is my college education. I prospered in my fields and increased my flocks there, and that prosperity and increase has continued to "help me be an influence for good in the world, and...open the doors of opportunity" to me and my family. (p. 9)
Sunday, July 27, 2008
The Temple Trips
Grandpa and Grandma Hawks had a different kind of family vacation in mind this year. Instead of taking everyone camping, they took their grandkids, in pairs, on temple trips. Their grandkids range in age from 1-17 and although most are not old enough to participate in temple ordinances, they all participated in temple service.
They have visited almost every temple west of the Mississippi. The Cowboys and Indians Temple trip took them to temples in Manti and Monticello, Utah; Albuquerque, New Mexico; and Mesa, Arizona with stops for fun at the Grand Canyon, Mesa Verde and Aunt Marge's home. The West Coast trip took them to the Portland, Oregon Temple dotted with temple stops in Idaho. Other trips included the California Trip, the Church History Trip (Nauvoo and Winter Quarters). One-day trips to local temples have been made with the youngest of the grandchildren. Currently they are on the Palmyra Trip with their 16 year-old granddaughter.
Armed with a list of duties from the grounds keeper, temple visits have found them weeding flower beds, sweeping sidewalks, washing windows and cleaning light pots (the small lights found in the flower beds) followed by fun detours to historical attractions, ice cream shops and hotels with swimming pools. Grandma and Grandpa also banned all electronic devices, so they have played the alphabet game, I Spy, and sung many, many songs.
President Ezra Taft Benson said, "Our responsibility to organize our families at the immediate family level begins when a couple is married. The grandparent family organization develops as the children from the immediate family marry and have children. Through such family organizations, every family in the church should become actively involved in missionary work, family preparedness, geneological and temple work, teaching the gospel, and cultural and social activities." (Ensign, Nov. 1978)
Grandma and Grandpa-we need your organization and support! The world shouts louder and louder to follow its ways. We need your experience, your example, your leadership. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, "Extended families should lend support when needed." What are the needs of your children and grandchildren? How can we know their needs and how to meet them? I have a favorite phrase from Sister Julie B. Beck, Relief Society General President, "You have knees and you have scriptures. What else do you need?" You also have sons and daughters who know their children's needs and have tried to meet them but are out of time or patience or both.
Grandpa and Grandma Hawks wanted to teach the importance of the temple and eternal family relationships. As a result of those trips, the grandkids have testimonies of the temple and temple service planted deep into their hearts. Ethan, 8, wants to be a temple architect and his cousin the temple general contractor.
Here are some additional ideas to "turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to their fathers." (Malachi 4:6)
In 1977, Elder Marvin J. Ashton suggested, "I challenge grandparents to foster reading programs with your grandchildren. If you are close enough to be with them, read the books to them that will help develop character and ideals. If you're a distance away, send them books, old or new, with a personal invitation to read them and report how they like them." (Ensign, Nov. 1977, p. 72) Now, thirty-one years after his challenge, you could record yourself reading favorite books for your grandchildren for download to their IPod or MP3 players. Challenge everyone to read the Book of Mormon and celebrate with a family party and testimony meeting. Start a family book club.
Write your life history, one vignette at a time and have your grandkids illustrate it. Then you have two pricless treasures in one-your life story and their precious artwork (displayed in a better place than the refrigerator door!)
Many grandparents host a Family Home Evening once a month with activities ranging from a standard lesson to hiking a favorite trail to games or family talent shows.
Be a master teacher. Teach your grandchildren the things you know how to do and love. Granddaughters should learn how to sew, crochet, knit, make bread, scrapbook, and study the scriptures. Grandsons should learn how to fix a car, finish a basement, plant a garden, fish and honor the priesthood.
Plan a special time with each grandchild each year, perhaps near their birthday. Presents are great, but your presence is better and lasts an eternity.
"We need to strengthen the individual family unit. We must not turn the hearts of the children to the grandparents if it means turning their hearts away from their parents. In fact, if we have concentrated on a good relationship with our children, they will spontaneously and joyously turn their children's hearts to us." (Ensign, "Makers of Moons and Testimonies", Caroline Eyring Miner, p. 68)
As you seek inspiration to know how to organize and help your families, remember to strengthen your children. Think of strengthening in terms of "extras." Extra hands, extra ears, extra patience, extra brain power, extra testimony, extra love.
Not all grandparents have time or means to take all of their grandchildren on a temple trip. However, all grandparents can share their "extras" and bless their families.
They have visited almost every temple west of the Mississippi. The Cowboys and Indians Temple trip took them to temples in Manti and Monticello, Utah; Albuquerque, New Mexico; and Mesa, Arizona with stops for fun at the Grand Canyon, Mesa Verde and Aunt Marge's home. The West Coast trip took them to the Portland, Oregon Temple dotted with temple stops in Idaho. Other trips included the California Trip, the Church History Trip (Nauvoo and Winter Quarters). One-day trips to local temples have been made with the youngest of the grandchildren. Currently they are on the Palmyra Trip with their 16 year-old granddaughter.
Armed with a list of duties from the grounds keeper, temple visits have found them weeding flower beds, sweeping sidewalks, washing windows and cleaning light pots (the small lights found in the flower beds) followed by fun detours to historical attractions, ice cream shops and hotels with swimming pools. Grandma and Grandpa also banned all electronic devices, so they have played the alphabet game, I Spy, and sung many, many songs.
President Ezra Taft Benson said, "Our responsibility to organize our families at the immediate family level begins when a couple is married. The grandparent family organization develops as the children from the immediate family marry and have children. Through such family organizations, every family in the church should become actively involved in missionary work, family preparedness, geneological and temple work, teaching the gospel, and cultural and social activities." (Ensign, Nov. 1978)
Grandma and Grandpa-we need your organization and support! The world shouts louder and louder to follow its ways. We need your experience, your example, your leadership. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, "Extended families should lend support when needed." What are the needs of your children and grandchildren? How can we know their needs and how to meet them? I have a favorite phrase from Sister Julie B. Beck, Relief Society General President, "You have knees and you have scriptures. What else do you need?" You also have sons and daughters who know their children's needs and have tried to meet them but are out of time or patience or both.
Grandpa and Grandma Hawks wanted to teach the importance of the temple and eternal family relationships. As a result of those trips, the grandkids have testimonies of the temple and temple service planted deep into their hearts. Ethan, 8, wants to be a temple architect and his cousin the temple general contractor.
Here are some additional ideas to "turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to their fathers." (Malachi 4:6)
In 1977, Elder Marvin J. Ashton suggested, "I challenge grandparents to foster reading programs with your grandchildren. If you are close enough to be with them, read the books to them that will help develop character and ideals. If you're a distance away, send them books, old or new, with a personal invitation to read them and report how they like them." (Ensign, Nov. 1977, p. 72) Now, thirty-one years after his challenge, you could record yourself reading favorite books for your grandchildren for download to their IPod or MP3 players. Challenge everyone to read the Book of Mormon and celebrate with a family party and testimony meeting. Start a family book club.
Write your life history, one vignette at a time and have your grandkids illustrate it. Then you have two pricless treasures in one-your life story and their precious artwork (displayed in a better place than the refrigerator door!)
Many grandparents host a Family Home Evening once a month with activities ranging from a standard lesson to hiking a favorite trail to games or family talent shows.
Be a master teacher. Teach your grandchildren the things you know how to do and love. Granddaughters should learn how to sew, crochet, knit, make bread, scrapbook, and study the scriptures. Grandsons should learn how to fix a car, finish a basement, plant a garden, fish and honor the priesthood.
Plan a special time with each grandchild each year, perhaps near their birthday. Presents are great, but your presence is better and lasts an eternity.
"We need to strengthen the individual family unit. We must not turn the hearts of the children to the grandparents if it means turning their hearts away from their parents. In fact, if we have concentrated on a good relationship with our children, they will spontaneously and joyously turn their children's hearts to us." (Ensign, "Makers of Moons and Testimonies", Caroline Eyring Miner, p. 68)
As you seek inspiration to know how to organize and help your families, remember to strengthen your children. Think of strengthening in terms of "extras." Extra hands, extra ears, extra patience, extra brain power, extra testimony, extra love.
Not all grandparents have time or means to take all of their grandchildren on a temple trip. However, all grandparents can share their "extras" and bless their families.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Keep a Cow, Part 2
Last summer we brought home a calf from my dad's ranch. My daughter learned how to care for and love an animal. She fed her, provided water for her and played with her. In the fall, we sold her and Chloe learned about paying tithing and saving money. We had had a great time raising our "Pink Bow" calf last year.
(To see "Keep a Cow: Part 1", click on this link:
http://seeklearningyourldsneighborhood.blogspot.com/2008/05/keep-cow.html)
This year, in the latter part of June, a calf was born on the open range. It was struggling and Grandpa decided to bring him back to the ranch. We decided to bring this calf home as well. My daughter and her cousin named him "Dillon".
Dillon continued to struggle. We tried to feed him with a bottle and from a bucket. We bought calf manna and oats, but he didn't want to eat. It became the daily struggle to force him to eat. Without enough of the proper nourishment, he lost strength and two weeks later he died.
Sometimes when you "keep a cow", the lesson for you and your child is not one of work and its associated blessings, but one of life, death and the plan of salvation. This summer, keeping a cow became a tutorial in the plan of salvation and I witnessed again the tender mercies of a loving Heavenly Father and a loving husband.
I married a wonderful man who has a profound love for all of God's creatures. As Dillon continued to struggle, I watched my husband watch over this calf with greater attention and love. He built a small pen for the calf so he would have shade from the 90-plus degree heat and better access to water and the calf manna. He helped the calf to stand and made him walk. He took buckets of water and scrubbed the scoury poop off his hind quarters and worked and worked to get him to eat. As it became apparent that Dillon was not going to live, my sweetheart led our family in prayer to ask for a mortal release for this animal.
The death of this calf brought memories flooding back to me of Russell and his dad. Russell learned his love of animals through the example of his father. Russell's father loved all animals and fed every stray that came his way. Three years earlier, my father-in-law passed away from leukemia, just two weeks after his diagnosis. My husband took care of his father the same way. Showing greater love and attention; applying lip salve to cracked, dry lips; washing off his body; helping him to walk; giving him sips of water; making him comfortable; praying for an earthly release.
Doesn't our Heavenly Father also take care of us like this in the midst of our trials in this earthly existence? "My work and my glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man," says the Lord in Moses 1:39.
Then why do we insist on doing it alone? Isn't He trying to help us walk, encouraging us to eat, applying salve to our wounds, finding shelter for us? "Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-30)
We were able to teach our four-year old about Heavenly Father's plan-the plan of salvation. As she cried about Dillon, she also cried about Grandpa and missing him. We know and testify, "the grave must deliver up its captive bodies and the bodies and the spirits of men will be restored one to the other; and it is by the power of the resurrection of the Holy One of Israel." (2 Nephi 9:12)
Although Dillon is gone, some new chicks (Leah, Sam, Sammy, Chicky and Rayla) have joined the family. I was hoping for some fresh eggs in a few months, but I need to remember-I'm raising a daughter-and I'm afraid we have roosters!
(To see "Keep a Cow: Part 1", click on this link:
http://seeklearningyourldsneighborhood.blogspot.com/2008/05/keep-cow.html)
This year, in the latter part of June, a calf was born on the open range. It was struggling and Grandpa decided to bring him back to the ranch. We decided to bring this calf home as well. My daughter and her cousin named him "Dillon".
Dillon continued to struggle. We tried to feed him with a bottle and from a bucket. We bought calf manna and oats, but he didn't want to eat. It became the daily struggle to force him to eat. Without enough of the proper nourishment, he lost strength and two weeks later he died.
Sometimes when you "keep a cow", the lesson for you and your child is not one of work and its associated blessings, but one of life, death and the plan of salvation. This summer, keeping a cow became a tutorial in the plan of salvation and I witnessed again the tender mercies of a loving Heavenly Father and a loving husband.
I married a wonderful man who has a profound love for all of God's creatures. As Dillon continued to struggle, I watched my husband watch over this calf with greater attention and love. He built a small pen for the calf so he would have shade from the 90-plus degree heat and better access to water and the calf manna. He helped the calf to stand and made him walk. He took buckets of water and scrubbed the scoury poop off his hind quarters and worked and worked to get him to eat. As it became apparent that Dillon was not going to live, my sweetheart led our family in prayer to ask for a mortal release for this animal.
The death of this calf brought memories flooding back to me of Russell and his dad. Russell learned his love of animals through the example of his father. Russell's father loved all animals and fed every stray that came his way. Three years earlier, my father-in-law passed away from leukemia, just two weeks after his diagnosis. My husband took care of his father the same way. Showing greater love and attention; applying lip salve to cracked, dry lips; washing off his body; helping him to walk; giving him sips of water; making him comfortable; praying for an earthly release.
Doesn't our Heavenly Father also take care of us like this in the midst of our trials in this earthly existence? "My work and my glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man," says the Lord in Moses 1:39.
Then why do we insist on doing it alone? Isn't He trying to help us walk, encouraging us to eat, applying salve to our wounds, finding shelter for us? "Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-30)
We were able to teach our four-year old about Heavenly Father's plan-the plan of salvation. As she cried about Dillon, she also cried about Grandpa and missing him. We know and testify, "the grave must deliver up its captive bodies and the bodies and the spirits of men will be restored one to the other; and it is by the power of the resurrection of the Holy One of Israel." (2 Nephi 9:12)
Although Dillon is gone, some new chicks (Leah, Sam, Sammy, Chicky and Rayla) have joined the family. I was hoping for some fresh eggs in a few months, but I need to remember-I'm raising a daughter-and I'm afraid we have roosters!
Friday, July 25, 2008
To Volunteer
I have had the opportunity to be a member of panels and boards that award scholarships and recognition to high school students. Each time I review applications, resumes and interview potential candidates, I am amazed at each applicant's preparation, dedication and diligence. Almost all of the applicants have impressive school transcripts, extra-curricular pursuits and work experience, but the area which usually determines the student who receives the recognition or scholarship from the one who does not is... community service.
Summer is a great time for teens to serve. They don't have homework; they may have fewer extra-curricular demands; they are watching too much television and playing too many video games. Hopefully your teen has altruistic desires to serve, but if resume building is where it starts, hopefully it will end in the warm glow of helping others. Doctrine and Covenants 58:27 states, "[young men and young women] should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will."
When helping your teen find meaningful ways to serve capitalize on the things they enjoy and ways they need to grow. For instance, my grandfather was in a nursing home for the last few years of his life and he enjoyed those individuals who shared their musical talents. Perhaps your teen could share his voice or instrumental talent on a weekly basis. Check with your local senior citizen center and see what needs they have. Perhaps they could teach "how to" classes for computers and software applications, cell phones, MP3 players and IPods, digital cameras and scrapbooking, or organize activities such as a Wii tournament or a real "senior" prom.
Is your teen interested in city government, law or politics? Most cities have a youth city council and youth court which are volunteer positions. Youth city councils plan city activities for youth; youth courts determine judgments for low-level offenses by juveniles. Many political campaigns, local and national, are in full swing and in need of volunteers.
Does your teen like books and love to read? Your local public library is looking for assistance with storytime, book clubs, activities and always re-shelving books. Although school libraries are typically closed for the summer, school library media specialists work throughout the summer to prepare newly received materials for use during the school year. As a former library media specialist, the help and the company was valued.
Maybe your teen loves to build or fix things. Habitat for Humanity has thousands of local affiliates and they are always looking for people who want to help.
As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and participants in the Young Men and Young Women organizations, youth have a plethora of opportunities for service. However, Utah youth beware! Every application will have raking leaves for the elderly and singing at the local rest home. If your teen wants to stand above the rest, he needs to show a true commitment to community service. "As you devote yourself to serving others, you will draw closer to Heavenly Father. Your heart will be filled with love. Your capacitites will increase, and your life and the lives of those around you will be blessed." For the Strength of Youth, p. 38.
Summer is a great time for teens to serve. They don't have homework; they may have fewer extra-curricular demands; they are watching too much television and playing too many video games. Hopefully your teen has altruistic desires to serve, but if resume building is where it starts, hopefully it will end in the warm glow of helping others. Doctrine and Covenants 58:27 states, "[young men and young women] should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will."
When helping your teen find meaningful ways to serve capitalize on the things they enjoy and ways they need to grow. For instance, my grandfather was in a nursing home for the last few years of his life and he enjoyed those individuals who shared their musical talents. Perhaps your teen could share his voice or instrumental talent on a weekly basis. Check with your local senior citizen center and see what needs they have. Perhaps they could teach "how to" classes for computers and software applications, cell phones, MP3 players and IPods, digital cameras and scrapbooking, or organize activities such as a Wii tournament or a real "senior" prom.
Is your teen interested in city government, law or politics? Most cities have a youth city council and youth court which are volunteer positions. Youth city councils plan city activities for youth; youth courts determine judgments for low-level offenses by juveniles. Many political campaigns, local and national, are in full swing and in need of volunteers.
Does your teen like books and love to read? Your local public library is looking for assistance with storytime, book clubs, activities and always re-shelving books. Although school libraries are typically closed for the summer, school library media specialists work throughout the summer to prepare newly received materials for use during the school year. As a former library media specialist, the help and the company was valued.
Maybe your teen loves to build or fix things. Habitat for Humanity has thousands of local affiliates and they are always looking for people who want to help.
As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and participants in the Young Men and Young Women organizations, youth have a plethora of opportunities for service. However, Utah youth beware! Every application will have raking leaves for the elderly and singing at the local rest home. If your teen wants to stand above the rest, he needs to show a true commitment to community service. "As you devote yourself to serving others, you will draw closer to Heavenly Father. Your heart will be filled with love. Your capacitites will increase, and your life and the lives of those around you will be blessed." For the Strength of Youth, p. 38.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
A Family Vacation
Family vacations lasted one day when I was young. Dad and Mom would take us on a whirlwind tour of both Grand Teton and Yellowstone National Parks. The adventure would begin at the Lunch Counter Rapid on the Snake River where we would watch the whitewater rafts and kayaks come down the river. We would lunch on sandwiches made from Ritz crackers, squeeze cheese and pimento loaf bologna. An hour or so later, my father would announce "Look, the majestic Tetons!" and we would cruise into Grand Teton National Park for a dip of the toes into Jenny Lake and a challenging Name-the-Teton game. Next, we would zoom into Yellowstone National Park to watch Old Faithful erupt and sometimes-depending on what time it was-we would swim in Firehole. Then as Dad drove back to the ranch, we would fall asleep listening to a late night radio show, the Midnight Cowboy.
What vacation memories are you making with your kids? Research by Susan Shaw, a sociologist at the University of Waterloo, shows "that parents treasure their memories of the vacations their own parents took them on, and that this inspires them to try to create similarly happy memories for their children." The Family: A Proclamation states, "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." In my experience, a family vacation puts all of those principles into practice.
With the price of gas and food, a one-day vacation may be the only possibility this year, but one day is better than none. Need some ideas?
What vacation memories are you making with your kids? Research by Susan Shaw, a sociologist at the University of Waterloo, shows "that parents treasure their memories of the vacations their own parents took them on, and that this inspires them to try to create similarly happy memories for their children." The Family: A Proclamation states, "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." In my experience, a family vacation puts all of those principles into practice.
With the price of gas and food, a one-day vacation may be the only possibility this year, but one day is better than none. Need some ideas?
- Elder L. Tom Perry shares an interesting "vacation" in his hometown of Logan, Utah. "I designated nine stops in Logan that I wanted my family to see. With each stop I selected a scripture to teach a lesson on the importance that particular location had in my life." (Ensign, Sept. 2006, p. 8-11) Where did you learn important lessons? What particular locations changed your life? Perhaps your children need to learn more about you and the events that shaped you. Where would I take my kids? My childhood home and ranch, the cafe where I worked as a teenager, my high school, USU (Go Aggies!), Aix-en-Provence, France, Clearfield High School, the University of Utah, and the home we now live in. France is not a realistic destination at this time, but a scrapbook, a bottle of Perrier, a croissant and a stop in Paris, Idaho would create some atmosphere!
- Visit local attractions. For a ward youth conference, we visited the local Church sites. I was surprised at the number of youth who had never visited the Beehive House, Church History Museum, or Temple Square (in the summertime). What local attractions have you and your children missed? Explore and enjoy!
- Book a hotel in a neighboring city to spend the night and go swimming. My sister and her family have done this for years and it is one of their favorite activities. On this vacation the focus and fun is the swimming.
- Load up in the car and make sure you have a coin. At each intersection, flip the coin. Heads turn right and tails turn left and see where you end up for lunch.
- Volunteer. Find a local charity that could use some free labor and elbow grease for a day. It may become a family tradition.
- Get physical. Several years ago, my roommate and I decided to try a new sport each season. That was the year I learned how to snow ski and how to dodge a racquetball. What activities would your family like?
- How about a week of vacation at home? Melanie from Utah structured a week where each family member was assigned a day and a budget. The person of the day chose the meals and activities. They finished with a day that included mini-golf, swimming at the local Aquatic Center, take-out for dinner and a silly string war with cans and cans of string. And-no friends, no phone, no door, no email, no texting; after all, they were on vacation.
My sisters and I like to give Dad a lot of grief for the one-day vacations of our youth and now we take our own families together on this vacation every year. Why, the grandkids have even talked Grandpa into spending three days-Yahoo!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Meaningful Spiritual Experiences
In March of 1999, Brent L. Top and Bruce A. Chadwick published an article in the Ensign based on a research study they conducted with LDS youth. As a result of the study, they proposed three areas of influence that impact the strength of youth: peer pressure, personal religious behavior and family practices.
While parents have limited control with whom their teens associate, the study found that religious standards and family practices counteract much of the negative influence of friends.
Personal religious behavior means those practices that one engages in privately, not publicly. Although meeting attendance, family prayer and family home evening are of tremendous importance because they lead children to internalize gospel principles, private practices such as personal prayer, individual scripture reading and fasting are the most influential in strengthening our youth.
How do we encourage and foster these private religious practices? We must be the example. Our children must see us kneeling in personal prayer, studying the scriptures individually, fasting with a purpose and attending the temple. They need to know we take our problems and concerns to the Lord in prayer and search the scriptures and attend the temple to find answers. They need to see that fasting humbles us and brings us closer to the Holy Ghost who teaches us.
Jackie, a child of Primary age, asked her mom and dad, "Why don't you go to the temple?" They often attended the temple, they just went during the day when the children were at school. The kids never saw them prepare to go, actually go and return. The parents decided that the opportunity for their children to see their example and sacrifice was so important they began attending the temple in the evenings and on Saturday so their children would know of their attendance, commitment and testimony.
As parents, we must also examine our public religious practice. Our outward participation is an indication of our internal commitment from which our children learn whether to center their lives in the gospel of Jesus Christ or upon the world.
"When I was first called to the Seventy some years ago, we were assigned to move to Solihull, England, to serve in the Area Presidency. Sister Rasband and I took our two youngest children with us on this assignment. Our daughter was a young single adult and our son, a 17-year-old who liked American-style football and played it very well. We were very concerned about them. No friends, no extended family, and no American football! I wondered, “Would this exciting new experience prove to be a serious trial for our family?”
The answer came in an early assignment I received. I had been asked to speak to the missionaries at the Missionary Training Center in Preston, England. I called President White of the center and was pleased to hear that he knew of my family situation. He suggested we include our children on our visit to Preston. Once we were there, he even invited our daughter and son to speak to the missionaries! What a thrill for them to be and feel included and share their testimonies of the Lord’s work! When finished and after tender good-byes to those missionaries, we visited the beautiful Preston England Temple, which was close to the Missionary Training Center.
As we walked near the front door, there stood President and Sister Swanney, the temple president and matron. They greeted us and welcomed us into the temple with, “Elder Rasband, how would you and your family like to perform baptisms for the dead?” What a wonderful idea! We looked at each other and gratefully accepted. After performing the ordinances and while my son and I were still in the font with tears of joy in our eyes, he put his hand on my shoulder and asked, “Dad, why haven’t we ever done this before?” I thought of all the football games, all the movies we had attended together, all of the good times we had shared—certainly happy memories and traditions that are so important to build. However, I realized we had an opportunity to add more meaningful spiritual experiences with our children like what we had experienced in Preston that day."
Parental regulation is not an easy or enviable task, but what I have learned from observation is: parents who choose to be their child's friend are fooling themselves and their children. This path will eventually lead to heartache and pain. In this relationship the child believes that the parent thinks and believes like they do. In time, the child needs correction and guidance, even from parents who have chosen to be the friend. Although the parent is acting out of love, the child is confused. He thought you were like him and now feels betrayed. The resultant defiance and rebellion is worse than any misbehavior that small correction throughout their young lives would have brought. Parents can do the following to foster family regulation:
As we examine our personal religious behaviors and family practices, may we "counsel with the Lord in all our doings and he will direct [us] for good." (Alma 37:37.
While parents have limited control with whom their teens associate, the study found that religious standards and family practices counteract much of the negative influence of friends.
Personal religious behavior means those practices that one engages in privately, not publicly. Although meeting attendance, family prayer and family home evening are of tremendous importance because they lead children to internalize gospel principles, private practices such as personal prayer, individual scripture reading and fasting are the most influential in strengthening our youth.
How do we encourage and foster these private religious practices? We must be the example. Our children must see us kneeling in personal prayer, studying the scriptures individually, fasting with a purpose and attending the temple. They need to know we take our problems and concerns to the Lord in prayer and search the scriptures and attend the temple to find answers. They need to see that fasting humbles us and brings us closer to the Holy Ghost who teaches us.
Jackie, a child of Primary age, asked her mom and dad, "Why don't you go to the temple?" They often attended the temple, they just went during the day when the children were at school. The kids never saw them prepare to go, actually go and return. The parents decided that the opportunity for their children to see their example and sacrifice was so important they began attending the temple in the evenings and on Saturday so their children would know of their attendance, commitment and testimony.
As parents, we must also examine our public religious practice. Our outward participation is an indication of our internal commitment from which our children learn whether to center their lives in the gospel of Jesus Christ or upon the world.
- Are we praying as a family both morning and evening?
- Are we reading the scriptures daily as a family?
- Are we having weekly family home evening?
- Do we attend our Sunday meetings as well as meetings related to our callings, ward and stake temple nights, etc.?
- What is our attitude about our calling and how do we magnify it?
- Are we home and visiting teaching monthly and with love?
- Are we serving our fellowmen?
All of these things will provide our children with living, breathing object lessons of the peace and security that living the gospel brings. Although many days and nights I wonder if the struggle of prayers, scriptures and family home evening is really worth it, Pres. Faust reminds me that my obligation to consistently hold these activities will save my children,
"Years ago, Bishop Stanley Smoot was interviewed by President Spencer W. Kimball
(1895–1985). President Kimball asked, “How often do you have family prayer?”
Bishop Smoot answered, “We try to have family prayer twice a day, but we average
about once.” President Kimball responded, “In the past, having family prayer once a day may have been all right. But in the future it will not be enough if we are going to save our families.”
I wonder if having casual and infrequent family home evening will be enough in the future to fortify our children with sufficient moral strength. In the future, infrequent family scripture study may be inadequate to arm our children with the virtue necessary to withstand the moral decay of the environment in which they will live. Where in the world will the children learn chastity, integrity, honesty, and basic human decency if not at home? These values will, of course, be reinforced at church, but parental teaching is more constant." (Ensign, Oct. 2005, p. 2-7)
In the study, three parental teachings in particular were found significant in fostering strength in our youth. They are family connectedness, parental regulation and intellectual autonomy. Families who experience a close connection are those who:
- Spend one-on-one time with each other.
- Express love often.
- Spend time together as a family.
- Are liberal with praise and generous with forgiveness.
- Develop family traditions.
"When I was first called to the Seventy some years ago, we were assigned to move to Solihull, England, to serve in the Area Presidency. Sister Rasband and I took our two youngest children with us on this assignment. Our daughter was a young single adult and our son, a 17-year-old who liked American-style football and played it very well. We were very concerned about them. No friends, no extended family, and no American football! I wondered, “Would this exciting new experience prove to be a serious trial for our family?”
The answer came in an early assignment I received. I had been asked to speak to the missionaries at the Missionary Training Center in Preston, England. I called President White of the center and was pleased to hear that he knew of my family situation. He suggested we include our children on our visit to Preston. Once we were there, he even invited our daughter and son to speak to the missionaries! What a thrill for them to be and feel included and share their testimonies of the Lord’s work! When finished and after tender good-byes to those missionaries, we visited the beautiful Preston England Temple, which was close to the Missionary Training Center.
As we walked near the front door, there stood President and Sister Swanney, the temple president and matron. They greeted us and welcomed us into the temple with, “Elder Rasband, how would you and your family like to perform baptisms for the dead?” What a wonderful idea! We looked at each other and gratefully accepted. After performing the ordinances and while my son and I were still in the font with tears of joy in our eyes, he put his hand on my shoulder and asked, “Dad, why haven’t we ever done this before?” I thought of all the football games, all the movies we had attended together, all of the good times we had shared—certainly happy memories and traditions that are so important to build. However, I realized we had an opportunity to add more meaningful spiritual experiences with our children like what we had experienced in Preston that day."
Here are some ideas your family could plan for spiritual growth:
- "they pitched their tents round about, every man according to his family...every man having his tent with the door thereof towards the temple." (Mosiah 2:5-6) Pitch a tent in the backyard and have a weekend campout with the door of the tent facing a temple nearest you during the weekend of General Conference. Take the opportunity to discuss the difference between the people of King Benjamin and Lot who "pitched his tent toward Sodom." (Genesis 13:12)
- a family Pioneer Trek activity. One friend participated in a family trek at Martin's Cove which involved mom and dad, all their married children and grandchildren. They ranged in age from 1 to 80.
- An aunt and uncle are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year and in commemoration are visiting 40 different temples with their grandchildren. Those who are old enough to perform baptisms will do so with grandpa and grandma. Those who are younger than 12 will perform a service on the temple grounds. Each trip has taken on a unique twist such as the "Cowboy Trip" for the one to the Dallas Temple.
- Take your children on a tour and tell them of the important places and profound growth in your life. Follow the example of Elder L. Tom Perry as he selected 9 places and a scripture to teach the importance of each location. See the September 2006 Ensign, "Sharing Family Heritage."
Parental regulation is not an easy or enviable task, but what I have learned from observation is: parents who choose to be their child's friend are fooling themselves and their children. This path will eventually lead to heartache and pain. In this relationship the child believes that the parent thinks and believes like they do. In time, the child needs correction and guidance, even from parents who have chosen to be the friend. Although the parent is acting out of love, the child is confused. He thought you were like him and now feels betrayed. The resultant defiance and rebellion is worse than any misbehavior that small correction throughout their young lives would have brought. Parents can do the following to foster family regulation:
- Families should establish rules together.
- All family members should have chores.
- Monitor behavior. (Where are you going? What are you doing? With whom are you going? What money do you have?)
- Enforce the rules but don't punish yourself.
- Show increased love after reprimands. Elder Nelson suggests, "When a child needs correction you might ask yourself, "What can I say or do that would persuade him or her to choose a better way?" When giving necessary correction, do it quietly, privately, lovingly and not publicly. If a rebuke is required, show an increase of love promptly so that seeds of resentment may not remain. To be persuasive, your love must be sincere and your teachings based on divine doctrine and correct principles."
As we examine our personal religious behaviors and family practices, may we "counsel with the Lord in all our doings and he will direct [us] for good." (Alma 37:37.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
This Is Your Brain on Summertime
Several years ago, there was an anti-drug commercial "Fried Eggs" that featured a frying pan with sizzling butter and an egg. The tag line stated, "This is drugs. This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs." Although summertime is not a drug, the effects on the brain might be similar. "This is summertime. (Imagine your kids for hour upon hour playing Guitar Hero, watching reruns of the Brady Bunch and networking on MySpace.) This is your brain. (Hour upon hour of classroom instruction and homework from kindergarten through 12th grade locked in an inaccessible compartment of the brain.) This is your brain on summertime." Get the picture?
Research from the Center for Summer Learning at Johns Hopkins University illustrates the following:
1. Limit television, video games and computer time. A 1999 media study from the Kaiser Family Foundation, Kids & Media @ The New Millennium, indicates that all kids, ages 2-18, spend an average of 5:29 hours using media, including television, computers, video games and music. Track your family's media use for a day or two and then discuss it in a family council. Let your children make recommendations for the better use of media, selecting better quality media and spending less time with media. If they help develop the plan, it is more likely they will follow the plan with less nagging and frustration on your part.
2. Incorporate learning activities into your summertime plans. For example,
Research from the Center for Summer Learning at Johns Hopkins University illustrates the following:
- All young people experience learning losses when they do not engage in educational activities during the summer.
- On average, students lose approximately 2.6 months of grade level equivalency in mathematical computation skills over the summer months.
- Children from low-income families lose over 2 months of reading achievement during the summer. Children from higher-income families make slight gains in reading achievement during the summer.
- Children's health habits are less healthy during the summer.
- Out-of-school time is a dangerous time for unsupervised children and teens. They are more likely to use alcohol, drugs and tobacco; engage in criminal and other high-risk behaviors; receive poor grades; and drop out of school than those who have the opportunity to benefit from constructive activities supervised by responsible adults.
1. Limit television, video games and computer time. A 1999 media study from the Kaiser Family Foundation, Kids & Media @ The New Millennium, indicates that all kids, ages 2-18, spend an average of 5:29 hours using media, including television, computers, video games and music. Track your family's media use for a day or two and then discuss it in a family council. Let your children make recommendations for the better use of media, selecting better quality media and spending less time with media. If they help develop the plan, it is more likely they will follow the plan with less nagging and frustration on your part.
2. Incorporate learning activities into your summertime plans. For example,
- My friend Lori would select a different Shakespearean play to study each summer. As a family, they would read it, watch it and act it out. At first there were many moans of complaint and protest, but after the first couple of years, the kids were asking what play they would study and actually looked forward to it.
- Another friend, Wendy, remembers that her mother posted three new vocabulary words on the refrigerator each day and at dinnertime Wendy was expected to spell and use the new words correctly in a sentence.
- Join the summer reading program at your local library or bookstore.
- Plan your summer vacation or a portion of it with an educational focus. Visit a historical site or museum. Keep a journal of the vacation with drawings, photos, entries and a list of "Things We Learned." Play alphabet games and sing songs as you travel.
- Purchase old textbooks from your local school and let your kids teach each other, the neighbor kids, and even you. When I was in 3rd grade, I made my parents attend the local school book sale and buy me a student and teacher edition of math, reading and history books and then I made my younger siblings play school all summer. Both of my sisters are better in math than I am because I made them solve the problems but I checked their work using the answers in the teacher's edition!
- Get some physical exercise every day. I usually go to the gym in the morning, but occasionally I exercise to a tape at home. My daughter loves to exercise with mommy and recently reminded me that it had been a long time since we had exercised together. Go outside-hike a trail, play tag, go for a bike ride, go swimming.
- Incorporate math into everyday activities. Make cookies and change the recipe to teach fractions-triple the recipe or cut it in half. Keep a notebook and pencil in your purse and in the car and practice addition, subtraction, multiplication tables and division. Build something together and teach (or in my case-learn) geometry.
- Enroll in local summer classes. Public schools and universities have extension programs with amazing summer courses for fun or academic credit.
This is summertime. This is your brain. This is your brain on summertime. New picture!
Friday, May 23, 2008
One By One
President Monson’s concluding remarks in General Conference included this statement, “My dear brothers and sisters, I love you, and I pray for you.” I testify that President Monson does love and pray for us.
A couple of years ago, our stake planned and prepared for a change of ward boundaries to accommodate an additional ward. The approval of the changes was received with a letter attached from President Monson. He wrote that he was concerned for Amy, a Mia Maid, because she would be the only Mia Maid remaining in that ward after the split. Although the boundary changes were approved, he stipulated that the two wards should participate together for Mutual activities until the youth program had increased in sufficient membership. As leaders we were touched and taught by this prophet, seer and revelator.
As an apostle, President Monson witnesses to the world of the Lord Jesus Christ, and he also witnesses one by one that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know us, care about us and know our needs. Although we may not be mentioned by name in a letter, I believe that he does know us and indeed, prays for us.
He ministered that day to Amy one by one, following the example of our Savior who, when he appeared to the Nephites, invited each one to “come forth unto me, that ye may thrust your hands into my side, and also that ye may feel the prints of the nails in my hands and in my feet, that ye may know that I am the God of Israel and the God of the whole earth…and this they did do, going forth one by one until all had gone forth.” (3 Nephi 11:14, 15) Jesus Christ also “took their little children, one by one, and blessed them and prayed unto the Father for them.” (3 Nephi 17:21)
Do we feel that love, care and concern from our prophet? Do we feel his prayers to the Father in our behalf?
If so, how has that knowledge and feeling changed you?
If not, “seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” (D&C 88:63) It will be opened unto you as you look for “the tender mercies of the Lord that are over all those whom he hath chosen.” (1 Nephi 1:20)
In Matthew 10:41 it says, "He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward." How can the love we feel from our Savior and our prophet, President Monson, bless us?
- Do we take time to be with each family member one-on-one?
- Do husbands and wives have a date night?
- Do dads have a time set aside for personal interviews with their children?
- Do both moms and dads have time with each child, separately and individually?
- Is there regular time together as a family to “work” and enjoy “wholesome family recreation?”
- Do we pray individually, as parents and as a family for one another?
If we believe and feel the “pure love of Christ” that emanates from our prophet and allow that love to work in us and change us, “there will be no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people.” (4 Nephi 1:15)
The next phrase uttered by President Monson was "Please pray for me." Let us pray for him as he prays for us. Elder Loren C. Dunn tells this story,
"When I was growing up, Heber J. Grant was the President of the Church. My father always prayed for President Grant. And he had great personal feeling for him because President Grant at one time was president of the Tooele Stake, and my father at that time was president of the Tooele Stake. President Grant became ill and passed away, and I can remember after the funeral kneeling in family prayer as a young boy and hearing my father praying with the same love and devotion and feeling for the next prophet, the next President of the Church, George Albert Smith.
As a youth, I was surprised because I had never heard anybody pray for any prophet other than Heber J. Grant. And I felt almost cheated—like my father was turning away from a good friend. But as the time went on, through that experience and other experiences, he taught me a very valuable lesson—you see, he had great love and appreciation for President Grant, and that would never change, but in his heart I realized that he had saved his greatest love and his greatest loyalty for his God, and whomever God would send he would sustain and uphold and pray for and embrace." (Ensign, May 1983, 29)
Our stake is changing boundaries again to accommodate more growth and another division just occurred. I am leaving a ward I love to become a part of a new ward. Although I am surprised and a bit sad, I know that a prophet knows of this change and prays for me and all of us.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Keep a Cow
Earlier this week when I reminded my four year-old daughter to do one of her chores-put the clean utensils away-she opened the dishwasher, sighed an enormous sigh and said, "I wish I didn't have to do all the work." Whether four or fourteen, all parents have heard similar things. Often the preparation and effort that it takes to teach children to work is more difficult than doing it ourselves. At those times my husband reminds me of this story from Elder Loren C. Dunn:
"While we were growing up in a small community, my father saw the need for my brother and me to learn the principle of work. As a result, he put us to work on a small farm on the edge of town where he had been raised. He ran the local newspaper, so he could not spend much time with us except early in the morning and in the evening. That was quite a responsibility for two young teenagers, and sometimes we made mistakes.
Our small farm was surrounded by other farms, and one of the farmers went in to see my father one day to tell him the things he thought we were doing wrong. My father listened to him carefully and then said, 'Jim, you don't understand. You see, I'm raising boys not cows." (Duties and Blessings of the Priesthood Part B, "Lesson 15: Sharing in Family Work," p. 131)
So I'm raising a daughter not emptying the dishwasher, but in the end does it matter if she empties the dishwasher?
"Two elderly neighbors one day were talking about their lives and those of their children. John's oldest boy was just finishing college and had been on the honor roll through all of his studies. Jim's boy had just been convicted of a serious crime and sent to the state prison. Jim and John had lived side by side and been good neighbors during their sons' growing up period. Their boys had played together and had gone to school together. Jim, in discussing what had happened, stated, "The whole difference between our sons' lives was that you kept a cow, John. I recall that when the boys were playing, your boy would leave early so that he could milk and feed the cow. By keeping that cow you taught your boy responsibility." (Duties and Blessings of the Priesthood, Part B, "Lesson 11: The Father as Patriarch," p. 96)
Yes it does matter, now and in the eternities. Work is a gospel principle. Elder Neal A. Maxell said, "The gospel of work is a very important teaching of the church. If we learn to work early in life we will be better individuals, better members of families, better neighbors, and better disciples of Jesus Christ, who Himself learned to work as a carpenter." (The Friend, June 1975, p. 7)
Our task as parents is to find the "cow"! Most of us live in urban and suburban communities without the ability to keep a real cow, but we must find work, responsibilities and inner personal strength equal to that of raising a cow, especially as the summer vacation looms ahead with cries of "I'm bored!", "What can we do?" and "I don't want to do that!" Are there any "cows" out there?
School-School should be a child's first responsibility--doing homework, studying for tests, reading for assignment and pleasure. In the summer, many secondary schools offer a summer enrichment school where teens can take required courses toward graduation or elective classes. Many universities offer independent study or online classes to high school students.
Chores-Each child needs to have personal and family responsibilities. Brainstorm chores for each child based on their abilities and let them choose their own chores, selecting new ones every month or so.
Garden-Pres. Kimball taught, "We encourage you to grow all the food that you feasibly can on your own property...If there are children in your home, involve them in the process with assigned responsibilities." Plant a garden or if you don't have space for garden, try container gardening.
Family Work Projects-From cleaning out the garage to restoring a vintage automobile, the possibilities are endless. My father-in-law would buy vehicles in need of fixing-up. My husband would work on it and when it was finished, his dad would sell it and buy another. Before the time my husband could drive he had restored a '57 Chevrolet Apache and '65 Mustang. When he turned 16, dad did buy him another car--a Pinto stationwagon with wood paneling!
Start a Business- Help your teens start their own business, especially those who are not old enough to have a job. A neighbor boy wanted to earn money to save for a mission and started his own lawn mowing business. He had no lawn mowing equipment but that did not stop him. He advertised that he would mow lawns using each family's own equipment, charging a lesser fee than other lawn mowing services. We hired him and he did such an excellent job that soon he had more than 20 neighbors who hired him. What does your teen like to do? How could he earn money doing it? What about:
- Teens teaching a summer activity camp for preschool and elementary age kids.
- Young women offering their scrapbooking services to busy moms with a price-per-page or entire album pricing.
- Help with household work such as a cleaning service, window washing, car detailing, pet grooming, etc.
Jobs in the Real World-Encourage your teens to find a job in the real world. Help them write a resume, role-play an interview and look for a job. Beware of jobs requiring work on Sundays. Nothing is more important than our children attending their meetings with us. Our first priority is our relationship with our Savior and teaching our children to draw near to Him. Anything that takes us or our children away from partaking of the sacrament is non-negotiable.
Pres. David O. McKay said, "Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that the power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success."
Good luck in finding and keeping "cows".
For ideas on children, household chores and fun, see http://www.housefairy.org/
For entrepreneurial teens, see Junior Achievement at http://studentcenter.ja.org/aspx/PlanBusiness/
For garden helps, see http://www.kidsgardening.com/family.asp
Monday, April 21, 2008
Sprint to the End
Several years ago, a group of students decided to end the school year which was their senior year by living each "last" to its fullest. With energy and enthusiasm they planned "the end". They drank from each drinking fountain to declare which one had the coolest and best-tasting water. They used every restroom in the school to decide which one was the cleanest. They went to the last baseball, soccer, and softball games and track meets to support their friends and school. They attended the last dance, dancing every dance, and they attended their "last" classes and discussed what they had learned, enjoyed and endured. That is the way to "endure to the end."
The end of the school year is difficult, especially as the weather gets warmer and end-of-year tests are taken. As a teacher, I always prayed for wet, cool weather so the kids would remain focused on school longer, especially those students at the end of a "stage", 6th grade, 8th or 9th, 12th, and 16th.
Those senior students had the right idea on how to endure to the end. Instead of drudgery every day, it was an adventure. Which drinking fountain is the best? Which restroom should have I been using for the last three years? Have we ever danced every dance? They looked for ways to enliven their last days of school, not just live through them. How can we help our kids enjoy, not just endure the last month of school?
President Boyd K. Packer said, "True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior." (Ensign, Nov. 1986, 17) Enduring to the end is doctrine, a gospel principle. Nephi taught that it wasn't enough to just get on the path but one had to "press forward...and endure to the end." (2 Nephi 31: 20) It is not enough to just go to school but one must press forward, learn much and graduate! Teaching this principle and guiding them to apply it will be one of the most important things they learn in their life.
Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Life is not just to be endured, but enjoyed." (New Era, Oct. 2001, 4) Those seniors didn't simply wait for time to pass, they found ways to enjoy the time. Everyone needs something to look forward to. They looked forward to the best drinking fountain hunt each day. What does your student need? What is something they could look forward to? How can you help them? Perhaps it's as easy as marking off the day on the calendar, or taking off another construction paper loop from the summer advent calendar. Maybe it's the end of school year party with friends and a daily preparation for it. Or possibly your student's graduation is in jeopardy and each day is one piece of the graduation puzzle to complete late assignments, take tests, and make-up time for tardiness and absences. Observe your kids and how their behavior changes as the school year draws to a close. Discuss your observations with them. Brainstorm "endurance" techniques, be creative, experiment, and throw in an occasional parent surprise to keep them on their toes.
Sis. Charlynn Anderson tells of the Spirit whispering to her "just endure to the end of today." (Ensign, Aug. 1982, 68) She endured her challenge a moment at a time. Sometimes we look at all of the work to be done and become overwhelmed, but a school year is marked first by periods or subjects which become days then weeks, and finally terms. "Today, while the sun shines, work with a will; Today all your duties with patience fulfill." (Hymn 229)
As an inexperience first year teacher, I saved all the "fun" stuff for the last two weeks of the school year. We made crepes, watched a French movie, played Mille Bornes and became more and more miserable. I learned quickly that the best way to endure to the end of the school year was not to play but to work. My second and subsequent years of teaching were filled with speaking, listening, writing, and reading French with a cumulative final test the last day of class while the fun cultural activities were sprinkled throughout the year. The end of the year sped by and my students and I enjoyed the class and one another much more.
The drinking fountain by the office had the coolest, best-tasting water; the restrooms by the music rooms was the cleanest; the athletes who played spring sports were surprised to see a student crowd; dancing every dance was exhausting. Enduring to the end done right may feel like play, not work.
The end of the school year is difficult, especially as the weather gets warmer and end-of-year tests are taken. As a teacher, I always prayed for wet, cool weather so the kids would remain focused on school longer, especially those students at the end of a "stage", 6th grade, 8th or 9th, 12th, and 16th.
Those senior students had the right idea on how to endure to the end. Instead of drudgery every day, it was an adventure. Which drinking fountain is the best? Which restroom should have I been using for the last three years? Have we ever danced every dance? They looked for ways to enliven their last days of school, not just live through them. How can we help our kids enjoy, not just endure the last month of school?
President Boyd K. Packer said, "True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior." (Ensign, Nov. 1986, 17) Enduring to the end is doctrine, a gospel principle. Nephi taught that it wasn't enough to just get on the path but one had to "press forward...and endure to the end." (2 Nephi 31: 20) It is not enough to just go to school but one must press forward, learn much and graduate! Teaching this principle and guiding them to apply it will be one of the most important things they learn in their life.
Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Life is not just to be endured, but enjoyed." (New Era, Oct. 2001, 4) Those seniors didn't simply wait for time to pass, they found ways to enjoy the time. Everyone needs something to look forward to. They looked forward to the best drinking fountain hunt each day. What does your student need? What is something they could look forward to? How can you help them? Perhaps it's as easy as marking off the day on the calendar, or taking off another construction paper loop from the summer advent calendar. Maybe it's the end of school year party with friends and a daily preparation for it. Or possibly your student's graduation is in jeopardy and each day is one piece of the graduation puzzle to complete late assignments, take tests, and make-up time for tardiness and absences. Observe your kids and how their behavior changes as the school year draws to a close. Discuss your observations with them. Brainstorm "endurance" techniques, be creative, experiment, and throw in an occasional parent surprise to keep them on their toes.
Sis. Charlynn Anderson tells of the Spirit whispering to her "just endure to the end of today." (Ensign, Aug. 1982, 68) She endured her challenge a moment at a time. Sometimes we look at all of the work to be done and become overwhelmed, but a school year is marked first by periods or subjects which become days then weeks, and finally terms. "Today, while the sun shines, work with a will; Today all your duties with patience fulfill." (Hymn 229)
As an inexperience first year teacher, I saved all the "fun" stuff for the last two weeks of the school year. We made crepes, watched a French movie, played Mille Bornes and became more and more miserable. I learned quickly that the best way to endure to the end of the school year was not to play but to work. My second and subsequent years of teaching were filled with speaking, listening, writing, and reading French with a cumulative final test the last day of class while the fun cultural activities were sprinkled throughout the year. The end of the year sped by and my students and I enjoyed the class and one another much more.
The drinking fountain by the office had the coolest, best-tasting water; the restrooms by the music rooms was the cleanest; the athletes who played spring sports were surprised to see a student crowd; dancing every dance was exhausting. Enduring to the end done right may feel like play, not work.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Student Travel
My father's employment requires him to work with Spanish-speakers; so when I was in high school he encouraged me to take Spanish as one of my elective courses. As I contemplated my course selection, I knew if I took Spanish I would have to work most days of my summer vacation to speak to the Chilean or Peruvian sheepherders, so I chose French instead. French then became my favorite class and a passion.
I changed my major several times in college but always came back to French. I really wanted to teach high school French but didn't know how to do that when my French-speaking skills had never been truly tested in a French-speaking country. So, during the summer between my sophomore and junior year of college, I went to France in a study-abroad program-absolutely one of the best of decisions of my life.
Is traveling abroad a future goal of a child? Here are some things to consider:
1. How old is the child? I don't recommend foreign travel for students younger than 15, unless accompanied by an adult. Once, I allowed a 14 year-old student to travel with my student group and I spent the entire trip babysitting him instead of teaching and learning with the others.
2. What kind of experience does he want/you want for him? This will determine how the student travels. Is it a sight-seeing adventure, a language experience or a cultural affair? Many reputable companies will provide variations of those experiences. Teachers from local public schools often sponsor trips through companies or act as travel agents themselves. Before booking any trip, do your research. Is it a reputable company? Do you know anyone who has traveled with them? If not, do they have references you could check?
3. How will your student finance the trip? Travel is a great opportunity and should be pursued but NOT if it means debt, unless it is absolutely critical to the future employment of a college student following graduation. This is a terrific opportunity to teach students to save money toward some amazing delayed gratification! Students who earned at least some of the money spent to travel appreciated the experience much more than those whose parents paid for the trip.
4. What does your student know about the places he will visit? Traveling is hands-on learning. It is most effective to study the history, art, architecture, people and culture before arriving in the country. Each year I accompanied students, we would spend several months in preparation. Then as we arrived and visited Stonehenge, Versailles or St. Peter's Bascilica, the students could tell me about their significance and importance.
5. What plans have been made for an emergency? Ensure that a plan has been established and know what protocols have been put in place to contact each other if the need arises.
Once the decision has been made and trip scheduled, here are some other things to consider:
I changed my major several times in college but always came back to French. I really wanted to teach high school French but didn't know how to do that when my French-speaking skills had never been truly tested in a French-speaking country. So, during the summer between my sophomore and junior year of college, I went to France in a study-abroad program-absolutely one of the best of decisions of my life.
Is traveling abroad a future goal of a child? Here are some things to consider:
1. How old is the child? I don't recommend foreign travel for students younger than 15, unless accompanied by an adult. Once, I allowed a 14 year-old student to travel with my student group and I spent the entire trip babysitting him instead of teaching and learning with the others.
2. What kind of experience does he want/you want for him? This will determine how the student travels. Is it a sight-seeing adventure, a language experience or a cultural affair? Many reputable companies will provide variations of those experiences. Teachers from local public schools often sponsor trips through companies or act as travel agents themselves. Before booking any trip, do your research. Is it a reputable company? Do you know anyone who has traveled with them? If not, do they have references you could check?
3. How will your student finance the trip? Travel is a great opportunity and should be pursued but NOT if it means debt, unless it is absolutely critical to the future employment of a college student following graduation. This is a terrific opportunity to teach students to save money toward some amazing delayed gratification! Students who earned at least some of the money spent to travel appreciated the experience much more than those whose parents paid for the trip.
4. What does your student know about the places he will visit? Traveling is hands-on learning. It is most effective to study the history, art, architecture, people and culture before arriving in the country. Each year I accompanied students, we would spend several months in preparation. Then as we arrived and visited Stonehenge, Versailles or St. Peter's Bascilica, the students could tell me about their significance and importance.
5. What plans have been made for an emergency? Ensure that a plan has been established and know what protocols have been put in place to contact each other if the need arises.
Once the decision has been made and trip scheduled, here are some other things to consider:
- Have your student pack his bags for his trip and then take him on a hike through your neighborhood. A mile should do it. Then have him decide what he can live without. Traveling outside the U.S. includes narrow stairwells, tiny elevators and small hotel rooms. Carrying your own luggage can be challenging.
- Copy your passport information and pack it in a separate bag. It is much easier to replace a stolen passport if you have a copy of it.
- Purchase a moneybelt or passport holder. Keep your passport and the majority of your money in it and wear it at all times, even at night. Put enough money in a wallet or purse for one day at a time.
- Students should always have a buddy. I lost a student once in the St. Louis airport when we went to the terminal on the left and he went to the right. It took an hour to find him.
- Teach awareness. Some students are very aware of what happens around them and others are clueless. Spend some time with your student going places and observing. A heightened sense of awareness is a necessary safety skill when traveling in unfamiliar countries or regions.
- Know your child and their spending habits and send enough money. One student had what I considered a large sum of money for our trip and I worried another didn't have enough for 4-5 days. In the end, I had to wire home for more money for the student who already had lots of money and the other student arrived home with the most money still in his pocket.
My trip to France was a defining moment for me. I felt free to pursue my dream because I had proven to myself that I could speak French and therefore teach it. It increased my self-confidence and my knowledge of the world around me. Unfortunately for my father, it didn't help my Spanish much.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)